Скачать или смотреть I cheated on my husband and regretted it, but he is gone forever

This story recounts the biggest regret of my life and the destruction caused by a momentary mistake. Starting with "I cheated on my husband," this narrative reveals how my life changed forever the day I received the divorce papers. Waking up in the morning and realizing he wasn't beside me, I missed his smell, his laugh, and his voice. How did one moment of weakness lead to such a massive downfall? Let me share this story with you.
"My wife cheated on me" and "cheating spouse" are central themes as I describe our relationship. My husband and I are both 36 years old and have been together for 16 years, married for 14. We have two beautiful daughters, aged 13 and 12. About three months ago, I cheated on him with a coworker just once, and I regretted it immediately. Despite seeking individual therapy, I still haven't fully figured out the real reason behind my infidelity. On the surface, it seemed like he was too caught up with work, and I felt neglected and unappreciated. But I know that's not the real reason.
We met in college and quickly became inseparable. He was my best friend and the love of my life. We traveled together, shared our dreams, and built a life filled with love and laughter. The birth of our daughters brought us even closer. However, as the years went by, the pressures of work and parenthood took a toll on us. Our conversations became less frequent, and our moments of intimacy dwindled. When my coworker showed me interest, it felt like a temporary escape from the loneliness I was feeling.
"I cheated on my husband and regret it" captures my immediate feelings after the affair. The guilt and shame were overwhelming, so I confessed to him the next day. He was shocked and called me the worst names, which I deserved. I even think I deserved more. I explained how it started with harmless flirting and escalated to a one-night stand. I wished I had been hit by a car that day. I cut off all contact with my coworker and gave my phone to my husband to show him I was willing to do whatever it took to regain his trust. I told him I would understand if he wanted a divorce.
My husband is the type of person who doesn't give second chances, even in friendships, when trust is broken. He said he wanted a divorce, but then the quarantine happened, and we stayed home for two months without proceeding with the divorce. The first month was very cold; he only talked to me about matters concerning our daughters. I slept on the couch and tried to give him as much space as he needed. Occasionally, I reminded him that if he ever wanted to work things out, I was willing to be completely devoted to the process. He said some spiteful things and distanced himself from me.
In the second month, there was a change. He began talking to me again about daily stuff, and we even watched movies together with the girls. I felt like he wanted to reconcile, and I was thrilled at the chance to save our family. Eventually, I sensed us becoming friends again. He even invited me back to our bed. I reminded him that he could talk to me about anything. A few weeks passed, and we were getting along better, spending time as a family, and growing closer. I felt really good about how things were going, but regretted not suggesting marriage counseling.
One night, we were drinking and talking in our bedroom. I felt a genuine connection rebuilding and was so happy. This is the moment I regret the most. I made a move on him, straddling him while we laughed at a joke. We looked into each other's eyes and naturally started making out. It felt like we were 20 again. He kissed me back but then started crying and told me to stop. Seeing how deeply I had hurt him felt awful. I apologized, and we went to sleep. I regret this moment because I feel like it pushed him away forever. Two days later, he informed me he wanted to proceed with the divorce. He said he couldn't make it work despite trying for the past two months. I wanted to fight for our relationship but told him I understood. We had already agreed on fair terms for the divorce.
He went on a two-week trip, and we agreed to split time with the girls. I helped him pack, and we hugged it out, both crying. After his trip, he came back, and it felt good to see him again, but I knew it wasn't the same. He smiled, and we made small talk before he took the girls. Today, I received the divorce papers. It hurts so much knowing I lost my best friend because of my foolishness. I miss him filling the room with his loud, adorable laugh. I miss him so much. The worst part is knowing how badly I hurt the person I loved the most. I wish I could undo what I did, but I can't. So now, here I am, writing about it on Reddit while crying, knowing there's nothing I can do to change it. I wish he could see how sorry I am and how devoted I would be if he gave me another chance. I love him so much and would do anything to get him back, but I know I lost him forever.