Chonny Jash’s CCCC as Tally Hall clips

Do you think my video is good?

4 minutes of random clips squished together with editing applied.
Something I do for the fun.
I love doing this

But I cannot lie.
I do this for the fame
The views, the comments
It makes me feel happy.


And as I beg for affection
I wonder if this is so selfish
Like giving a homeless person money
But cameras are watching

Is it wrong to make something
Simply because you want others to watch?

Is it wrong to make something
Because you think people will like it?

Do I want to make someone’s day?
That is the question I ask myself
As I sit here
Writing this description
Each and every letter with doubt
Why did I do this?
Why did I write this description?
Why did I make the video?
Why did I click on that one video?
Of a man split into three?

So many hours of work
And he is not asking for money?
Or fame?
His is just a passion project.
A project because he wants to.

Why do I want to be more dramatic?
Do I want someone
One of those description readers
YOU
To read this and comment about it?
Am I selfish that way?
Or am I selfish just for asking that?

I’m not feeling sad about it.
I don’t need you to comfort me.
Or maybe,, just say something!
Anything!

The guilt is climbing up on me.
A low quality video pushed out in one day.
I think it’s good
But do others?

I know people used to make videos
Just because they wanted to.

Now they just do it for the fame.

Am I like them?

I am.
I know I am.
And I won’t try to fight it.
Does it make my video worse in a way?

Please tell me.
I just want some form of affirmation
From someone
Reading the description

But
Am I a bad person for doing that?

Am I?

That is one question I can’t answer
Or rather, refuse to.