Why we should show our hurt rather than argue

Our tendencies, when we’ve been slighted by our partner, is to wound them back immediately. We would have far calmer relationships and kinder ones too, if we could just reveal our hurt – rather than inflict it back.

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FURTHER READING

“Arguments in relationships are typically so regrettable and often so bitter, it’s natural to hope we might – with greater maturity – overcome them once and for all. But given what human nature is like, it would be unwise to make this our goal: the hope can’t be to eliminate arguments altogether, it should be to try to find our way to a better kind of argument.
Arguments tend to start when we are confronted – usually rather suddenly – by what appears to us to be the radical selfishness, intransigence or sheer nastiness of the partner…”

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Khyan Mansley
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