Narcissistic Parents Distort Your Self Image & Set You UP To Be w/ Narcissistic Partners

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So we all know that narcissists love to control and one of the things they love to control is your self image how you see yourself how you perceive who you really are. And this is what enabling looks like and enabling starts in childhood because it was more safe to enable our parents than to stand up for ourselves because we were so small and young. So what happens is a narcissistic parent will see a Childs authenticity and criticize them for it and by the way all children are born with authenticity. What happens is they learn that authenticity isn't safe. So a child that is bold and outspoken and assertive will be criticized and treated as if they are bad for those very characteristics. A child that's creative will either be criticized for their creativity or be absolutely ignored and then a sibling with less creativity will be highlighted. A child that is skinny will be criticized for being skinny but when they gain weight will be criticized. There is no win for the child. And so what happens is the child of a narcissist begins to amputate everything that the narcissistic parent doesn't like because they have to - that's how they ensure their safety. Because if I don't amputate the things I'm being criticized for - to a child they're like I'm going to be rejected and if I'm rejected I'm too small to take care of myself so therefore I'm going to die.
So you can see if you had narcissistic parents they set you up and conditioned you and taught you and trained you to enable someone elses bad behavior. So that when you're in a relationship as an adult when that person is extremely critical for something normal - lets say you love make up but the person criticized you for it or you loved reading and the person criticizes you for reading a book as if its a sin and you stop - you're unable to see that what they're doing is wrong and you're amputating everything about you in an effort to try to make them happy because that is what you learned in childhood.

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