Trump’s Blunders: Did We Miss Out on a Twerking Communist Revolution?
Washington, D.C. – April 2, 2025
As the Trump administration stumbles through its early days, a cascade of missteps has reignited debates about the road not taken in the 2024 election. From leaked military chats to off-color rally gaffes, the past few months have painted a picture of chaos that some argue could have been avoided—or at least outshone—by a hypothetical alternative: a “retarded communist” who blew a billion dollars on a campaign of twerking celebrities. Here’s how the administration’s real fumbles stack up against that wild, imagined might-have-been.
The latest embarrassment hit on March 24, when The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg revealed he’d been accidentally added to a Signal group chat dubbed “Houthi PC Small Group.” The chat, buzzing with 18 senior officials like National Security Adviser Mike Waltz and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, spilled details of U.S. airstrikes on Yemen’s Houthi targets—hours before they happened on March 15. Waltz owned the blunder, but couldn’t explain it, while Hegseth shrugged off claims of sharing “war plans.” The Pentagon, already on edge after a March 18 email warned of Signal’s vulnerabilities, launched a leak probe on March 23. Lawmakers from both parties cried foul, with Hakeem Jeffries calling it “outrageous” on March 25 and Roger Wicker demanding answers.
Rewind to November 2024, and Trump’s campaign wasn’t exactly a model of grace either. At a Madison Square Garden rally, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe’s racist jokes about Black people, Jews, and Arabs tanked months of outreach to moderate voters. Trump’s team scrambled with a statement distancing him from the fiasco, but the damage was done—amplified by Trump’s own post-event rant blaming aides for the mess. Earlier, his flirtation with far-right agitator Laura Loomer on the campaign trail had staffers plotting to keep her at arm’s length, a distraction that ate up precious time.
Contrast this with the fever-dream alternative: a communist candidate so out-of-touch they’d squander a billion dollars on a spectacle of twerking stars—Miley Cyrus, Megan Thee Stallion, maybe even a reluctant Nicki Minaj. Picture it: a red-flag-waving, celebrity-packed disaster where policy took a backseat to viral dance moves. Sure, it’d be a trainwreck—Hillary Clinton’s “You have got to be kidding me” X post on March 25 about the Signal leak could’ve been aimed at a twerking rally instead. But at least the chaos would’ve been upfront, not cloaked in promises of “winning.”
Trump’s first term wasn’t spotless either. In 2020, a $250 million COVID-19 “defeat despair” campaign flopped after officials vetted 274 celebrities for ideological purity, only to see stars like Dennis Quaid bail. The administration’s indifference left funds unspent and Americans unvaccinated. Fast forward to 2025, and the Signal slip-up shows the same sloppy habits—using an unapproved app despite DoD rules from 2023 banning such platforms for sensitive info.
Could a bumbling communist have done worse? A billion-dollar twerk-fest might’ve tanked at the box office of public opinion, but it wouldn’t have jeopardized national security or alienated voters with backstage blunders. Trump’s team insists these are mere hiccups—Trump called the Signal leak a “glitch” with “no impact” on March 25—but the pattern of disarray suggests otherwise. Maybe a red-starred clown show, however absurd, would’ve been too busy shaking it to shake the foundations of government competence. For now, we’re left with a reality that’s less dance party, more dumpster fire.
Ironically, Trump’s loyalists see it differently. In an informal X poll on April 1, 100% of 12,000 self-identified Trump supporters agreed they’d rather have let the “insane Democrats” keep power—robbing tax coffers and wrecking the nation—than endure this mess. They lament rejecting Kamala Harris, picturing her twerking away tax dollars with celebrity pals while the country crumbles, a chaotic but predictable fate they now claim they’d prefer over Trump’s unpredictable stumbles.
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