Michael and Alex | Find Our Way (+ 4x10)

"I was so consumed with finding a way home, that I lost sight of the home I was trying to build with him."

I wrote this whole thing out, but then my computer crashed and I lost the upload so here I am trying to recapture my thoughts!

I know that a lot of people, especially Alex fans, have struggled with this season and I completely understand that. You want to see the characters and relationships you like in a show. Simple as that. I would say for me, I've still gotten a lot out of this season when it comes to Michael's character development and what this will ultimately all mean for their relationship.

I can feel really silly sometimes when I sit down to plot out one of these videos and go "oh gosh, what will the theme of this one be?" when every single time, no matter what angle I take, it boils down to "home." I think that's a testament to the consistency of Michael's journey in this show. Anyone can say what they want about the writing, I believe Michael's storyline and character arc has always been clear and focused. From the first time we saw Michael step into his trailer full of equations and schematics to where we are right now, Michael's journey has been about finding home and discovering what home really means. I also think it's fun to think about the fact that the first time we see Michael arrive at his airstream, Alex is standing right outside the door.

Michael has been dreaming about going home his whole life. In his mind, from when he emerged from his pod to where we are in the story now, that home has been Oasis. Michael made a lot of progress at the end of season 3 and beginning of this season in finally acknowledging that Alex is his home- because he is, and has been since he first invited him to stay in his shed when Michael was 17. But I think there's a big difference between understanding something and believing it fully. I don't think there would ever been a world where Michael could fully accept that he had already found his real home without being presented with the option to return to the one he always dreamt about. The significance in choosing Alex has to come from the fact that it isn't a choice made by default.

As much as I wish Alex would actually have been in more of this season and be there to work through all this with Michael, I have found the focus on Michael finally realizing his lifelong dream so incredibly compelling. He said it best when he was speaking to Clyde - "I don't want to dream any longer." His goal of going home to Oasis has been the driving force in his life and really the center of his own identity his whole life. As incredible and ~cosmic~ as Michael and Alex are, loving someone doesn't actually fix everything. It doesn't suddenly erase trauma. Michael needed time and all the options in front of him in order to realize that the dream he has as a seven-year-old in the foster system isn't the same dream he has now. It makes sense that a trigger for this to finally occur would be being thrust into a situation where the choice between Alex and Oasis is actually forced. By focusing on the aliens and didn't focus enough on Alex. He then had to face the reality of what that may have cost him (not that I think it's in anyways his fault).

All of that to say, I'm really excited for the payoff because I do believe we are going to get one.

The process of uploading this video has truly been the biggest struggle to date, so I hope you enjoy.

Thanks for watching!

Song: Afterglow by Jordan Critz (feat. Matt Wertz)