Jonas writes a letter to Nathan (from the film I Am Jonas, 2018)

poem by Sam Albatros

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Nathan?
my little gay boy
on his game boy

there is this nightmare
where i see your body broken
into a thousand little Tetris pieces
i can’t put you back together

i am stuck
at this level
of no second chances

every time
it is the time of
no second chances

you only wanted to pick flowers
from a man’s mouth
now forever trapped
inside the belly
of the big bad wolf

i still go to boy’s paradise
and pick fights with strangers
i still fuck strangers
hoping that one day
i’ll find him
even if he is old and dead
i’ ll find him
i’ ll tear his belly apart
and get you out
with me