Death as a Prerequisite to Change

Hi, Jeff Munn, Creating Extraordinary Futures, and I want to talk about something I want to make explicit, something that I don't necessarily talk about a lot. The whole notion of creating extraordinary futures is about stepping into that thing that's calling you—taking the step toward what you've always wanted to do. This could mean quitting your job and starting a new business, changing industries to work in an area you've always wanted to, or going for the big promotion you're unsure you're qualified for.

What I want to suggest is that the quickest, most effective, and most powerful way to achieve this is not to think about what you need to do but to think about who you need to be. I love the notion, which is a central point of Christianity and other religions and creation myths worldwide, of dying and being reborn. You can take this idea outside of a religious context, which I find incredibly useful. Instead of thinking about what you need to do, think about who you need to be and how your current identity is getting in the way.

In other words, to step into a new identity, you have to let go of the old one—the one that is rational, practical, and thinks small. The one that says, "I could never do that. Who am I to think that I could do that?" Who are you not to? You can make that change as quickly as snapping your fingers.

I was an executive in a leadership role at a large financial services firm, where I discussed healthcare benefits and retirement savings with large employers. I decided to become an executive coach, working with CEOs and founders to build their businesses and ultimately sell them. I made that choice. The results did not follow immediately, but it was the identity I was stepping into that pulled me forward and guided me on what I needed to do, who I needed to be, and how I needed to show up.

Years later, I am that person. I started as that person and then built the tasks, conversations, and writing around it. It continued to change. Some of these things are directional—what is pulling me forward and how is it pulling me forward? Trust that and go with it. Often, there's hesitation: "Could I really do this? Could I really be this?" The trick is to keep going, trying, and learning. Doing that is much easier when you have stepped into being that person.

When I left a law firm to join a consulting firm, I quickly found that the behaviors and mindset of a law firm lawyer were not useful at a consulting firm. Moving from being a lawyer to managing a group of lawyers required a different mindset and behavior. Sometimes I stumbled because I didn't get that at the time. I moved from being a lawyer to a consultant, managing client relationships, and eventually managing a group of national subject matter experts. I screwed up along the way because I didn't understand the distinction between being and doing. I kept thinking about how to do things, but I was still in my old mindset, and I stumbled a lot.

It was only after I became a coach that I realized I needed to be a different person to serve people as powerfully as I could. I needed to show people how much I could help and support them, showing them what is possible if they step into this new identity and operate from there immediately instead of assuming it will take years to become that person.

I hope that makes sense because it is such a fundamental shift and so powerful. It will save you years if you can see that for yourself in this moment and declare it for yourself right now.

That's what I have for this week. I hope you had a great week. Experiment with this concept in any context in your life, whether as a parent, a partner, or at work. If you want to step into a leadership role, start by being a leader, and you'll find that the other stuff comes to you instead of you having to go out and get it. It will be self-evident that you are already that, and people will give it to you willingly. Take care.