Steve Jobs's HUMANCENTiPAD

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South Park Season 15 Episode 1501 ~ HUMANCENTiPAD
South Park Season 15 Episode 1 ~ HUMANCENTiPAD
South Park Season 15 ~ HUMANCENTiPAD

Several children at South Park Elementary have iPads, but Cartman does not, and he is challenged for pretending to have one. Kyle is chased through the town and kidnapped by Apple employees, who claim their actions are legal under the newest version of the iTunes terms and conditions, which Kyle, due to their length, agreed to without reading. He is thrown into a cell with a Japanese man and a Caucasian woman who also failed to read the terms and agreements. Meanwhile, Cartman embarrasses his mother, Liane, at Best Buy, loudly accusing her of raping him after she offers to buy him the cheaper "Toshiba HandiBook" rather than the iPad. She refuses to buy him anything and takes him home.At a gathering of Apple employees, Steve Jobs unveils the new product for which Kyle and the other two were kidnapped, the HUMANCENTiPAD (based on The Human Centipede), comprising the three kidnapped subjects on all fours, wearing only white cloths around their waists and sewn together mouth to anus. The Japanese man is in front, with an iPhone attached to his forehead; Kyle is in the middle; and the woman is at the rear, with an iPad attached to her anus and powered by the trio's excrement. Jobs intends to teach the creation to read and walk. Somebody then comes to rescue the three kidnapped people, but it is a trick by Apple to get it to read a contract. Jobs is disappointed when Kyle continues to sign agreements that are put in front of him without reading them first. Back in South Park, Gerald goes with the boys to the Apple store to seek advice from "the Geniuses". After performing two rituals, a "quickening" in which they interface through their mouths using light beams with their mouths and a "toran ra" ritual in which they poke floating colored bubbles, the Geniuses conclude that they can make Kyle's agreement void if Gerald, a PC user, signs up with Apple and creates a family account. When Gerald consents to join Apple, the head Genius proclaims the Vulcan phrase Kal-if-fee and an induction ceremony in tinfoil hats is held in a setting resembling the planet Vulcan in the Original Star Trek episode Amok Time. Meanwhile, Cartman appears on Dr. Phil to publicly accuse Liane of "fucking" him. The audience takes his side despite her protests that he is lying; as a consolation gift, he is given the first ever HUMANCENTiPAD as Jobs unveils it to the public. Cartman is elated to have a device that not only supports web browsing and email, but allows him to defecate into Kyle's mouth, but shortly afterwards, Gerald and the Apple employees arrive to tell Jobs that Kyle must be released, since his agreement to the iTunes terms and conditions is no longer valid. Kyle and the two others are taken away to be separated and Cartman, enraged at having his dream taken away so quickly, shouts at God, angrily mocking him for "fucking" him. He is struck by a bolt of lightning, sending him to the hospital; the last shot is Cartman battered and bruised, missing patches of hair on his head, and in casts, crying, while his mother flips through a book indifferently.