Surviving Purity Culture at BYU-Idaho - Chandler Roberson Pt. 1 - 1522

Chandler Roberson was raised as a devout Mormon and always wanted to be the best Mormon she could be. In her teenage years, Chandler had a few abusive relationships with Mormon boys, where she felt forced to “repent” for “sins” she never committed. Her senior year Chandler felt pressured to break up with a non-LDS boy whom she genuinely loved, and to attend BYU-Idaho to follow the ideal Mormon path.

While at BYU-Idaho Chandler was sexually assaulted by her Family Home Evening “brother,” which led to her leaving BYU-Idaho early, ultimately attempting to serve an LDS mission with untreated PTSD (returning home early).

Chandler eventually became a nationally-known fashion blogger at “Days of Chandler.” Later, Chandler attempted two young LDS temple marriages, both of which ended in divorce. In her view, she was too young to attempt marriage but felt intense pressure from LDS Church members to marry young.

This is Chandler’s story. Major themes include:

Pressure to be a “good Mormon girl” (all on women’s shoulders)
BYU-Idaho (dating/sexism, sexual assault problem at BYU schools)
Fashion Blogging (similar pressure to be a certain way – inauthentic/beautiful)
Personal impacts of being raised in the church ( codependency, sexual shame, etc)
Pressure to get married (twice).

We are super grateful to have Samantha Shelley (Zelph on the Shelf) as co-host for this interview.

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Show notes:
Days of Chandler website:
https://daysofchandler.com/

Chandler’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@chanroberson?...

Chandler’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/chanroberso...

Zelph on the Shelf youtube:
   / zelphontheshelf  

Hailey Devine YouTube
   / haileydevine  

Time codes:
00:00 Intro and welcoming Samantha Shelley as co-host
2:44 Chandler’s story, wanted to be the best Mormon kid
12:15 Being told mixed messages about brother’s autism
13:30 Issues with policies on LGBTQ+
14:21 Bishop confessions
17:56 Self-harm and crying out to God
20:40 Dating earlier than 16
28:55 Attending EFY, modesty rules
33:00 Downside and upside of modesty
36:40 Listening to music you wouldn’t play for Jesus, valuing discipline, authoritarianism
39:00 EFY and high school dating, not what she wanted but “should” want
47:00 Ignoring your internal voice, crying from shame
52:50 Patriarchal blessing
1:01:10 Treatment of boys vs girls**, tomboy and femininity
1:06:50 Church meant everything, accepted to BYU-I
1:10:38 BYU Idaho standards
1:18:00 BYU-I good and bad, Family Home Evening brother stalking, assault, rape
1:26:20 When men say “I can’t control myself”, abstinence-only education
1:32:50 Confused thinking, trials, prayers
1:34:45 Chandler not reporting her sexual assault, coming back from college
1:37:40 Dating, mission, watching “anti-Mormon” material shelf items
1:42:40 Being called on mission mid-semester
1:45:00 Going through temple
1:52:20 Bothered by the temple sexism but not questioning
1:55:30 Mission experience anxiety, coming back early
2:10:10 Anxiety feeling like a fraud
2:16:10 Going back to BYU-I, losing herself as the pretty girl, eating disorder
2:24:10 Meeting Samantha
2:25:30 Being reprimanded by bishopric for “immodesty”
2:26:50 Feeling like a child dating at BYU-I
2:29:00 Outro

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