E16: How Do the Unfaithful Invalidate the Betrayed's Feelings?

Maybe you've said this before or had it said to you, but it's a common yet problematic statement for couples trying to heal from the devastation of infidelity or addiction: "I feel like I'm never heard OR that my feelings are always minimized or just plain invalidated." We unfaithful have this masterful ability to quite often minimize or completely invalidate our partner's feelings, leaving them feeling both hopeless and helpless for a better future or healed relationship. The truth is, sometimes we don't even know that we're doing it. If you grew up like myself, 'fighting was a form of communication' but I had to learn that not all families communicate the way mine did. Perhaps you too grew up the same way? Or maybe you grew up in a family where no one talked about their feelings and just found a way to move forward, keeping their feelings and emotions to themselves, only to feel unseen and unheard wondering why now, their partners emotions and feelings are scary if not terrifying? Sometimes as unfaithful we just don't get it and quite honestly, some times we don't want to get it. Emotions, feelings, pain, anger and the like can be scary to us unfaithful and we have no clue how our actions not only alienate the betrayed but further traumatize them. The good news is, today we share practical ways to identify not only when we are invalidating our betrayed's feelings but also just how we are doing this invalidating. We'll go a step further and actually translate some very statements we all have used as unfaithful and what they really mean to the betrayed. Today's conversation is like always, a very direct, no nonsense yet compassionate discussion that's sure to help both the unfaithful and the betrayed.

#infidelity #hopeforhealing #affairrecovery #affairs #betrayal #betrayaltrauma #ptsd #cptsd #samshealingpodcast #addictionrecovery

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