Away With the Fairies

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All the pieces on this channel were created as an exploration of living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)- formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. Different parts or alters in my DID system (the structure of my personality) have composed different scores depending on what experiences/memories/roles they have in my mind.

Listening to any bass oboe music transports me into another realm. I cannot say why, it just happens. It was not a difficult decision to compose a piece of music for bass oboe but it is one of the few pieces where the title came to me before I even put my first note onto the manuscript. The music evolved organically, hearing the bass oboe in my mind, the parts who prefer to live detached from reality expressed their feelings of freedom, being in a non-judgemental place and being in a safe space, a place where all my/our troubles seem non-existent. These parts are referred to as Hermit, Nameless Others, Outcast Loners, The Loner, M, and Stupid.
Although being “detached” from reality, I am also usually at peace during my “away with the fairies” moments. The beginning bars were composed by Hermit, having a laid-back feel while being totally isolated but at peace.
I also added harmonics to the notes near the beginning of the piece to try and create a more ‘ethereal’ sound. Surprisingly, this was composed by Stupid, as she was trying to imagine what it would be like to have the freedom of not being judged, just existing in a peaceful realm without any ‘weights’ on her shoulders.
M then takes over randomly choosing notes that appeal to her but have no obvious sense of direction. She did want the articulation to be precise and carefully chose the slurs and staccato as well as the dynamics in a fairly ordered fashion. For example, two slurred, two staccatos, runs of three or more notes slurred etc.
The Outcast Loners then took over where they are displaying a feeling of freedom, flying and soaring endlessly through the beautiful scattered white clouds under a perfect blue sky during spring. Although, in my mind, I am in my own physical form of a young girl, the Outcast Loners feel like they are flying like a golden eagle, fearless and free.
Hermit takes over as she is reflecting on her quiet existence and enjoying the solitude that that brings with it.
The Outcast Loners imitate Hermit, respecting her decision to be alone, by replaying the first few bars, that she composed. They are trying to express a sense of unity in the turmoil of life.
Stupid then takes over. As she is never sure exactly what to say and is usually embarrassed by anything she writes or says, she was expecting some sort of backlash from her few notes and was quite surprised when this didn’t happen. She continued composing and although not as experienced in composing as other parts, felt optimistic about allowing herself to engage in future compositions.
Both Nameless Others and M compose after this. They have a conversation about who they are and what they do. Nameless saying “I don’t like labels/names, I am a free agent”. M responds by saying she is also a free agent but quite likes her title as it gives her a place which makes her feel safer. They both work together just choosing the notes that suit them. There is no judgement, and they continue happily.
The Loner finishes the piece with an outburst of demisemiquavers saying, “what about me? I’m here as well!” Having been heard and allowed to continue, she ends up talking slowly and deliberately thanking the other parts for their contribution and for allowing her to be part of their group.
I hope you enjoy listening to “Away with the Fairies”.