Скачать или смотреть While your lips are still red - Destiel (AU)

An unsent letter to Cas:
You once asked me how I am and I told you that I am fine. You on the other side knew to well that I was not. But I never answered you, never told you how I really felt. To tell you the truth, I could live with the physical symptoms, the shaking hands, the uncontrolled seizures. What actually is killing me are the hallucinations about me lashing out, hurting you. They are getting worse with every day and are so vivid, that I am sometimes not sure if I really hurt you or not. I pushed you away. I said you can't stay, because you can't. Someday I WILL hurt you, sometimes it won't be just your bloody face in the mirror but your blood on my hands. And still I need you. And still I miss you. And still I want you. You are my family. You ground me. You always were there and now I know how lost I am without you. Deep in my heart I hope you need me too.
Dean

Music: While your lips are still red - Nightwish
Fandom: Destiel/ Spn (Don't like, don't watch)

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