How To Respond To A Spouse Who Criticizes You

Do any of these statements sound familiar? “You didn’t do what I asked you to do…” or You never clean up after yourself...” or, “Why did you move that?!”

Whatever it may be, you probably have some complaints about your spouse...and your spouse probably has complaints about you. But these complaints don’t have to ruin your marriage but they can actually end up making it better!

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Think back to the time when you were dating. How did these “complaints” affect you then? Did you ignore them- were they not a “big deal” to you? But now that you’re married, are some things really getting on your nerves, or your spouse’s nerves, to the point where you burst out in anger or frustration?

When your spouse makes a complaint about something you’re doing (or not doing) it is completely normal to get defensive. However, since you’re watching this video you’re probably wondering “How do I move forward and deal with these situations?”

Consider these three things..and think about your spouse’s intention behind the statements...First, ask yourself, “Is it valid?” Is what they are saying actually true...or are they saying it out of anger? Second, ask yourself, “Why might this matter so much to them?” Finally, apologize for any hurts and make a plan to move forward.

Now you may be thinking, “They should just accept me as I am! I’m not changing for anyone!” Yes, to some extent we need to accept each other - flaws and all. But that should not be an excuse to continue behaviors that are hurtful to the other person or to dismiss their feelings or wishes. Rather, the best practice for your marriage is to put your pride aside, and do what is best for the marriage.

Thank you for watching!

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