David Attenborough's hard enduro beasts of Australia!︱Cross Training Enduro

From http://www.crosstrainingenduro.com Deep in the eucalypt forests of Australia, a young enduro beast is flying between the trees in his natural habitat, practicing extreme enduro. In his quest to reproduce with a suitable mate, young bucks like Ruben Chadwick perfect their riding skills over many seasons. But in this process, there are often mistakes and blunders that often don't appear in these documentaries. David Attenborough says while speed is important, enduro beasts also know the female of their species is impressed by agility and balance, so they regularly look for hard terrain in which to develop their prowess. Extraordinary. Welcome to Cross Training Enduro, with over 100 free training vids for riders on bike setup through to basic, intermediate and advanced skills. How good are our vids? Well we are the 27th most watched dirt channel in Uzbekistan. We have won the polished turd award five years in a row. And we have a world record 25 class action lawsuits for inaccurate coaching information. David Attenborough says this young hard enduro buck looks for the toughest line through some rocks, then practices over and over. Problems for these hard enduro beasts of Australia? His oversized gonads are swollen and regularly throw him off balance, but he persists, knowing the only relief will be his ability to impress a female enough in the approaching extreme enduro mating season. Why are called cross training? We have a focus on hard enduro, and most of the pro riders are former trials champions. So we apply trials techniques to enduro techniques, with coaching tips from some of Australasia's best riders: Tim Coleman, Chris Birch, Ruben Chadwick and Trevor Campbell. We even have tips from the hard enduro meister himself, Graham Jarvis. Once Ruben conquers this section, he then works at pivot turns over a raised log, again hampered by his swollen gonads in his hard enduro attempts. The magnificent plumage of our enduro beast is not an accident. So we include tips on how to keep a KTM running, how to manage your gimp, how to enlarge your testicles, how to manage diseases, which body protection to use, how to buy Graham Jarvis' condom catheter, what to wear, the best cigarettes, and better riding through beer. Like many hard enduro beasts of Australia, he has carefully contrasted the turquoise of his riding gear with the bizarre pumpkin colour of his iron steed, again in the hope of impressing nearby females. So we actively avoid sponsorship. Running ads on our vids. It also means we can do no bullshit reviews. Manufacturers make some really bad mistakes. and there is a lot of dodgy shit being sold out there. Instead of glowing reviews for kickbacks or free product, we will try to keep the bastards honest. Whether it's EVS pretending their knee guards are knee braces, strap brackets rusting on Airoh, Leatt and Suomy helmets, lack of quality control on Sidi Crossfire boots. And our bike reviews will actively look for known issues and problems, not just the usual positive blurb. Nearing exhaustion, he finally practices his mating dance among the rocks. David Attenborough says these exquisite pivot turns would surely entice any females in heat, except they are all located far away in nightclubs so it will prove to be a lonely extreme enduro mating season for the enduro beast. The dirt riding is getting too commercial for our liking. Everyone is trying to sell you shit you don't need, convince you to buy the latest model dirt bike with 1mm extra suspension travel. Offering prizes, bombarding you with ads. Pushing the products they get kickbacks for. Lets hear it for all the hard enduro beasts of Australia!

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