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When your kids screw up, how do you react? Perhaps more importantly, do your children admit their mistakes to you or do everything to hide them.

It feels counterintuitive when our child has made a bad decision to allow them space to process it on their own. Their immature brain led to a poor choice, and that needs to be corrected, right? I'm not saying you're wrong. Some form of intervention, discussion, and correction may be really important. But we need to understand that every interaction with our kids cascades to the next.

If we can't be that safe space for our child when they're really in trouble, who can they turn to? And while it might make sense to give them a tongue lashing after they find themselves at a house party, underage, and drunk, it's important for us to understand that they will not be eager to contact us if they are every in that or a similar situation again.

Fear can work as a motivator, but it can also cause people to keep secrets when they think they will receive disapproval.

It might be drinking today. It could be a more dangerous situation tomorrow.

One of our most challenging goals, in the midst of everything else we have to do as parents, is to ensure that we can be the safe haven and the sturdy leader they need. Easier said than done. But if they don't have us, who do they have? This is really important.

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Speaker: Larry Hagner
Source: Jon Bernthal learns how to be a better father | REAL ONES with Jon Bernthal