A Song About Autism

When I was seven, my mom took me to see a child psychologist. There, I got the diagnosis: mild Aspergers, paired with a high IQ and HSP (highly sensitive person). From then on, I hid this from the world. Not even in my diploma acting studies have I mentioned it - only afterwards, probably because I tried so hard to belong and fit in and be normal because I thought the this was the right thing to do. I only told someone if they'd specifically ask me and guessed right.

Well, guess what. I learned that the absolute normal thing to do is to show exactly these things that make you, you. Why? Well, because everyone is unique, so everyone has them, no matter what they are. I realized that trying to please everyone and justify my behavior with 'just' a quirky personality (which I have, don't get it twisted) was actually the less realistic and genuine thing to do and not authentic at all. I know that this does not define me and I see my identity elsewhere, in something bigger than this, but it's time to be true to myself and to you.

So hi! I'm Asya and yes, you've guessed it, on some days, eye contact is difficult for me. Also, talking, which I can hide pretty well with pauses, the right rhythm and filling words. I've had the occasional anxiety attack, wouldn't recommend it. I pivot my body to relax and self stimulate, I also tap my chest or forehead, crack my wrists or overstretch my hands. I flail my arms and hands about, squish my face with my hand or cover my ears when I'm excited. Sometimes, I have word stims, meaning that I talk gibberish or do the occasional squeak. Sounds kind of like a guinea pig.

I am extremely sensible to sound and light, sound especially, which also results in perfect pitch, which is cool but sometimes not easy to handle. I love to wear sunglasses and/or noise cancelling headphones, because that gives me a glimpse of the luxury that some people have of not being constantly overstimulated and exhausted by stuff around them all the time. I would randomly point at stuff that grabs my attention, which could also be a shelf or a lamp. I did this since I was a kid.

When I'm out and about, I would suppress all these things most of the time and say that I'm just bubbly. But then I realized, being an actress and a musician, I am thankful that I can see those little extra hues, shades and colors that are hidden to some, thankful that I can convey those extra sounds, that are too quiet to make out for some. That's where I come in.

And also, hey, if you're an artist out there that wants to pursue the Performing Arts and have a diagnosis like me, please, don't disqualify yourself. You are worthy of doing this. You are qualified and in fact, we're talking about art here. It can be a strength, a blessing, if you will. By the way, I have a project coming up regarding exactly this. So I guess you can see this as an announcement, a teaser...;) More on that soon, stay tuned.

visit my homepage: https://www.asya-pritchard.de
IG: @asyapritchard