Inner City Freaks --The Pink Sock Shuffle | Raunchy Funk Ballad

Matt Mattis was part of the Inner City Freaks before breaking out on his own and joining up with The Groove Scholars, but these old tracks had a magic that he would never find again. Coming out of Detroit in 1976, these guys were on a trajectory to international stardom...but sadly, like all of my other fictitious AI groups, tragedy struck them down right before success was realized. After the immense attention from The Pink Sock Shuffle, the band went to New Orleans to work on the remaining tracks of their first album...and all was fine and dandy until they met some folks that were into Haitian Voodoo. Shit got real weird, and they got into some really dark parts of their collective psyche...and started what would become a deep, underground subgenre of funk: Death Funk. All they wanted to do was write songs about muthafuckas dyin'...and they did. They never finished the album, due to the mysterious disappearance of the group -- with the exception of Matt Mattis, who said he didn't remember what happened after a bizarre ritual involving an ostrich, fourteen gerbils and an epileptic voodoo priestess named Wilhelmina Marshall.

...but Matt said they knocked out four tracks, and he has them in storage somewhere.

Lyrics:
[Verse]
In the heart of the city, where the street lights shine so bright,
There's a nice little joint where the funk rolls deep into the night.
Enter our dance hero, strutting his stuff right through the door,
With those looks and moves so sharp, he's the master of the floor.

[Chorus]
They Watch him groove, They watch him slide,
The Ladies smiling, all eyes are open wide.
With a twist and a spin, a backflip and the splits,
He's got the repertoire for all those dancefloor hits
...Watch him work, y'all!

[Verse 2]
Only three songs in, comes a challenge from one of the men
"C'mon, muthafucka," he said, "let's get into the circle again."
Our hero was face to face with a dancer just as bold:
Some young Russian cat, with nice blond hair and chains of gold
He bust out with Barynya, those exotic squats and kicks,
This little Baryshnikov dude had all kinds of cool tricks.

[Chorus 2]
They Watch him hustle, They watch him sweat,
The Ladies smiling, with all them panties wet.
With a twist and a spin, a backflip and the splits,
He's got the repertoire for all those dancefloor hits
...Watch him work, y'all!

[Verse 3]
It's no problem for our hero to dance the night away
But it was proving rather hard to beat a man who knew ballet
That Russian's moves were precise; he's obviously well-trained
It took everything our hero had, his muscles getting strained
The DJ's song was way too long, a few more minutes to go
Gotta copy that Russian dance, if he wanted to steal the show


[Bridge]
With a squat and a kick, he took a big, bold stance,
But then he felt strange, with something weird up in his pants.
A loud pop, a sharp pain, something definitely didn't go right,
He felt a streaming trickle as he stepped into the light.

[Verse 4]
He looked down between his legs, and to his shock and surprise,
A large, foul, bleeding mass emerged right before his eyes.
Rectal prolapse, a long pink tail hanging out back there
Women started screaming, and there was panic in the air.
But he was determined to win and started dancing again
while swinging that nasty pink sock around with a grin
...Good God!

[Chorus]
He’s got the moves, he felt the beat,
The crowd’s still shocked as he swung his bleeding meat
With demented genius, he used his butt muscle,
And turned the scene into the Pink Sock Shuffle.
...Jesus Christ!

[Verse 5]
There was Blood, sweat and gooey juice dripping on the floor,
What was once a shocking mishap, had now become so much more.
He spun it around, and twirled it, using it like a prop,
The crowd was in total awe, no one wanted that ass to stop.
And that Russian dude puked three times, he couldn't handle any more
He was done and grabbed his shit and ran right out the door
...до свидания!

[spoken]
No one knows what happened after that wild and crazy night
He left the club in an ambulance, loud sirens and flashing lights
But The legend lives on, oh yeah, about that dancefloor scuffle
Nobody who was there, would ever dream or dare
to forget the Pink Sock Shuffle!

[Outro Chorus]

Pink sock, Pink sock
Ohhh yeeeaaaah!

Pink sock, pink sock
DO THE PINK SOCK SHUFFLE!
(that's nasty, muthafucka!)

Pink sock, Pink sock
Ohhh yeeeaaaah!

Pink sock, pink sock
DO THE PINK SOCK SHUFFLE!

Pink sock, Pink sock
Ohhh yeeeaaaah!
( I ain't cleaning that shit up)

...and so on and so forth...


__________________________________________________________
Lyrics written by MacDonkulous (2024)
Music by Udio AI

#comedymusic #funk #prolapse