The Dynamic Dudes

Credit to @theserialstripper for the awesome visuals.

Dave Meltzer tweeted all night about a dream he'd had
Where people thought that he was young and not just old and sad
Hey, Dave you're rad,
Way Cooler than the average dad

And Chris Jericho's at home in front of his Mac
Photoshopping on a hairline and a sweet sixpack,
Then has a snack
And goes to shave his back

When you're desperate to hang with the young kids,
Singing showtunes in a creepy tuxedo,
Oh man, you think you're hip
I call you a pedo
Here we go now

All the young dudes
Make Observer News,
Dynamic Dudes,
Write Observer News

Now Tony's counting cash that he is sending to Dave,
He is charging by the star,
But he always behaves
Writing those raves
Way to go, Dave

And Chris Jericho is thinking of retiring soon,
Settling into dad rock and autotune
Dressed in middle- aged chic
Hiding his bloated physique

When you get phyisical with someone much younger,
Your sweat dripping while it's committed to tape
Oh, man that is not wrestling,
It's statutory rape
Here we go now

All the young dudes
Make Observer News,
Dynamic Dudes,
Write Observer News

All the young dudes
Steroid misuse
Dynamic Dudes
Have prostate cancer blues

All the young dudes
Arthritis and prune juice
Dynamic Dudes
AARP recruits

All the young dudes
Clinging to youth
Dynamic Dudes
Hard to live the truth

All the young dudes
Make Observer News,
Dynamic Dudes,
Write Observer News

All the young dudes,
Time to face the truth
Dynamic Dudes,
Just act your age...