What To Do When Your Ex Won't Respond To Your Messages?

What should you do when your ex won’t respond to you? Clay Andrews talks about this in this video.

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It’s tough when you text your ex something but your ex won’t respond to your messages.

Maybe you've even done No Contact and your ex won’t respond after No Contact.

It can really make you feel hopeless.

However, in situations like this, I’ve found that there are usually two important things going on.

First and foremost is that your ex’s emotional resistance to interacting with you is still sky high and they are resisting talking to you or replying to your text messages because they are still holding onto a lot of negative feelings.

Secondly, your ex isn’t responding because you are simply texting them the wrong things.

Common things that people often send to their ex include things like the “hows it going?” text, which is one of the worst things you can text your ex.

Instead, make it easy for your ex to reply to you.

A big question like “How’s it going?” often gets ignored by your ex because they may not take it as a serious question.

Its something that is tossed around so much that many people just look right past it.

Secondly, it’s also a difficult question to answer because it is so vague. It requires that your ex search through their entire experience of life and try to sum it up in one text message reply to you.

That’s a lot of pressure for just one text message.

Instead contact your ex in a way that make it easy for your ex to reply to you.

Ask them a specific and focused question that will make it clear that you are intentionally interacting with them (not tossing round forgettable phrases like “what’s up?”).

And it will also make it easy for them to answer your question too.

If your ex isn’t replying doing this can often help to open them up.

Other than that, it can be very helpful to work on decreasing their emotional reactance through other means as well that we talk about in our other videos on this channel.