ESHRAL - THERAPY FREESTYLE (Audio) | @eshral.otb

Eshral - Therapy Freestyle (Audio) - Track 14 from the album "Predetermined"

Produced and mixed by Eshral (@prodbyeshral)
   / @prodbyeshral  

Cover art by Rani Race (@ranileea) and Eshral (@eshral.otb)

Lyrics:
I've been lacking inspiration lately, I need to get back on my realness and just write from the heart,
Remember when I dropped my story people said it was art, and since then a lot's changed but still I'm fighting my past,
OCD and anxiety getting worse every day, face to face I never speak on it I'm frightened you'll laugh,
So I just open a page if I been low on my J's, takes a lot to explain I put my life in these bars.

I put my life in my lyrics, I got no time for the gimmicks, feeling low it's not quidditch I'm only high when I bill it,
Body's sore been here before and I can't stop myself, obsessing over thoughts running around me this disorder's Olympic,
Need somebody to fix it need somebody to hold, but all my love has gone missing so darling sorry I'm cold,
I'd prolly turn down all these women cuz not one fits the mold, I've been too busy reminiscing bout the days of old.

All this stressing over nothing's got me bugging, been needing medication when it's tough don't wanna touch it,
I really need to go and tell my brother that I love him, had his back since we were youngens struggle trusting but I trust him,
I'm with him to the end somebody touch him imma buss him, I'd ride out for my family to the death ain't no discussion,
I've lost so many friends but I trust all of my brothers, I ain't tryna trust a girl so if I fuck you we ain't public.

If I loved you then I love you forever it's not a front, I'd suffer for eternity for you to live once,
I really loved you from the start you broke my heart I can't believe that we're done, and I've been grinding with a smile but ain't been happy in months,
Ain't been happy but I lie saying I'm fine it's a front, can't remember the last time I felt excitement I'm numb,
Put my pain down in these lyrics I ain't writing for fun, feel a way when I'm winning and then it's back to square one.

Just found out I got an older brother in the states, I wonder if he could relate to all our fucking pain,
Heard he was living with his mother but she passed away, and now he's gotta chat to dad it must be hard to face,
I wonder if he knows he's got a couple siblings far away, I wonder if he'd wanna meet and ask me for my name,
Is he a dreamer in the day with aspirations to be great, is he like me a born fighter cuz that shit is in my veins.

And I couldn't even tell you how it's in my blood, cuz my dad's a fucking pussy and I'm stronger than mum,
It's prolly from my trauma getting pressured from young, lack of control fight or flight but me I never could run,
So I stick to my guns I'm getting quick with the runs, deeper water's what I swim in for fun,
But nothing's ever good enough until I hit number one, and even then I could do better never quit never done.

Never quit never finished grab a riz and then bill it, I just repeat all these lyrics until I'm numb to the pain,
Feeling shit but I should be tryna be grateful I'm living, somewhere with heating and isn't targets for gunners all day,
I was stuck in my ways needed a hug from a mate, and we was on the same page so I fell in love with her brain,
I was stuck in my ways needed a hug from a mate, and we was on the same page so I fell in love with her brain.

Realist when I rhyme never masked up when I spray this, the only time I lie is when you ask me how my day's been,
I just say I'm fine I can't be arsed so I just fake it, but still I speak to beats geek with the bars but I'm not vaping,
Still I speak to beats cuh that's my therapy daily, penning pain hope it erases what mentally draining,
But I'm feeling like I'll never be sane g, if you relate just play my tape I hope it's helping you maybe.