Tommy Cetrioli "Gormless Prick" 1941.

Tommy Cetrioli "Gormless Prick" 1941.

Tommy Cetrioli, a legend gone too soon.

Within the timeframe of his vey short lived career as a singer, Tommy Managed to rise to fame despite having extremely wealthy and affluent parents, who were behind him every step of the way.
Big band leader and composer, Errol Garnish, once described Tommy as "Cucumber man", which was a nickname that stuck with him, when asked if he called him Tommy Cucumber because he was cool, Garnish responded "No, it's just because he gets depressed and sits staring at them, for like, days on end"
Tommy never found happiness and struggled throughout his life, he sadly died on 25th of February 1947 after crying so much water from his body that he became a pile of dust made from carbon, calcium and phosphorus.
His legend lives on through beautiful songs such as these.

Lyrics

Oh why has nobody,
Ever truly loved me
Is it because I have no style?

Is it because, I smell a bit like wet dogs
Like I've been masturbating in the same yellow pants for months on end without washing

Why do all the nice girls hate me?
Is it because I'm dull and I act forlorn and thick
Or could it just be because
I'm just a silly, gormless, prick

Oh I'm tired of getting so near, so close to love
But I can never reach out enough to ever touch it
And as soon as women meet me
They immediately know that I
Am an utter, fuck wit

So will I be alone forever
Till my skin has turned to leather
And my stupid silly fuck wit mind has gone

Oh and by the way I have a tiny truncheon
That would not even provide a hearty luncheon
For a lonely flea, who'd already fed from a cat
I'm such a twat

Oh I must have been born this way
About as much charisma
As a bowl of soggy corn flakes
That someone's unwell cat
Has vomited on

I'm like a crisp that drops on the carpet
I'm like the wisp in the wind when you farted
I just want someone special to really see
Just who I could be, if

I could stop being, a complete and utter
boring fuck wit

Oh why has nobody,
Ever truly loved me
Is it because I have no style?
Is it because, I smell a bit like wet dogs
Or because I hang around in men's bogs

Why do all the nice girls despise me?
Is it because I'm ugly and I smell like turds
Or could it just be because
I'm just a silly, gormless worm

I sit, at my dirty window
Watching people walking by
As I'm dibbling with the end of my little flaccid lad
As I'm trying to shake some life back into the little guy
But he is much too sad, to be able to comply
And I wonder why
Am I
This way

Oh somebody please help this sad lonely silly fuckwit.