Sovereignty - a poem by Adam Roa

I romanticize a lot of things.
I get excited about having a crush.
I allow myself to daydream about what might be possible after only knowing someone for a week.

But blowing things up into their highest possible expression can have a shadow.
This can pull me into the analytical part of my brain.
I can start to search for hidden meanings inside of text messages.
I can start to second guess what I feel and what they say.

This used to derail me.
I would wind up completely engulfed in my own neurosis and find it hard to concentrate on anything else.
My work would suffer. My joy would suffer.
My overall quality of life would suffer.

But I shifted out of that. Not entirely, but to the point where it no longer has a detrimental impact on my life.
I can still allow myself to romanticize everything (after all that is a superpower too) but also release it with much more ease and grace.

How did I get here?

Self-love. I started to listen more deeply to my why.
Why I was romanticizing. Why I was holding on.

Once I started to listen to why, I began to see the needs underneath it.
So I began to give it to myself.
I began to create a deeper relationship to my inner child and show up for him in a much more powerful way.

This self-love now gives me a foundation of knowing I'll be okay.
No matter what, I've got me. I'll show up for myself and my needs.

Which means that I can give myself fully to another.
I can let them in. I can actually allow myself to love them from a place of wholeness, not co-dependency.
I don't NEED them.

Which lets me love them even more.

#ChooseLove / #LifeIsPoetry