How to Manage Passive Aggressive Behavior (Part 2) - Terri Cole

Do you avoid confrontation as a way of being “nice”? Do you hint at what you would prefer to your partner or act withdrawn when you’re angry, rather than expressing yourself directly? If you are nodding your head yes then you, my friend, are expressing yourself passive aggressively and this kind of behavior can sabotage your relationships without you even knowing it.

The truth is, being passive-aggressive helps no one. When you are the one basically speaking in code with indirect actions and language, your partner doesn't get the chance to authentically understand your desires and who you really are. This makes it virtually impossible for them to be a part of the solution for you. And if you never confront this behavioral pattern, it can infect all your relationships, not just romantic ones, by being acted out at work, school or in any relationship.

In this video I cover:

1. What passive aggressive behavior looks like
2. The effects of being passive aggressive
3. Why this behavior strips you of intimacy in relationships
4. How to liberate yourself from being passive aggressive

One of the many negative consequences from passive-aggressive behavior includes prolonging a problem. By refusing to tackle something head-on, and trying to avoid conflict, you are fueling the continuation of the conflict. And this creates pain for YOU plus everyone else.

Another consequence of this behavior is that you are almost guaranteeing that your needs won’t be met in any relationship because you're not letting anyone know how you really feel or what you really want. But I promise you, speaking directly and honestly is a skill that you can learn if you’re motivated.

To truly understand how this might be affecting your life and relationships, download the Effects of Passive Aggressive Behavior Checklist, and get honest with yourself. If you find this is one of the many ways you’re communicating right now, you can unlearn this behavior and liberate yourself.

Grab the free passive-aggressive checklist here: https://www.terricole.com/passive-agg...

If you want to dive even deeper, my pal Mark Groves and I did an amazing 3-hour workshop all about transforming the way you communicate in every area of life. Get scripts, tools, and guidance to gracefully navigate challenging discussions, address misunderstandings, and develop a happier, healthier approach toward communication: https://crushingcommunication.com/

TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - Introduction
1:01 - Where does passive aggression come from?
2:35 - The impact of being passive-aggressive: resentment
4:40 - Your needs go unmet
6:06 - Giving up before you try (with relationships and dreams)
9:20 - Trying to avoid pain at all costs
10:35 - Shutting down honest discourse by taking things personally
12:40 - Procrastinating on what bothers you

RELATED VIDEOS:
How to Manage Passive Aggressive Behavior, Part 1:    • How to Manage Passive Aggressive Beha...  
How to Gently Shut Down Passive-Aggressive Comments - Including Your Own!:    • How to Gently Shut Down Passive-Aggre...  
Stop Being Defensive + Learn to Listen - Effective Communication Tips:    • Stop Being Defensive + Learn to Liste...  
How to Effectively Communicate During Conflict:    • How to Effectively Communicate During...  

ABOUT TERRI COLE
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.

For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/

CONNECT ON SOCIAL
Instagram: https://terricole.com/ig
FB Page: https://terricole.com/fb
FB Group: https://terricole.com/fbg
Podcast: https://terricole.com/itunes

RESOURCES:
Boundary Boss Book: https://boundarybossbook.com/

BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/terricole I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp’s resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help’s service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.

https://www.terricole.com/gethelp/ — If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.

#terricoleshow #emotionalwellbeing #passiveaggressive