How to Manage Passive Aggressive Behavior (Part 1) - Terri Cole

Are you able to directly express your anger? When your partner does something that hurts you, do you tell them directly or do you avoid the conflict but act sullen and withdrawn to communicate your displeasure?

Passive aggressive behavior is an attempt at conflict resolution that doesn't effectively resolve the conflict. The term passive aggressive essentially means communicating dissatisfaction or unhappiness about something in an indirect way. Although we’ve heard the term used on television or in films for years, few people truly understand what it means or the negative impact this behavior has on relationships.

Some people develop this ineffective style of problem solving behavior as a direct result of growing up in an environment where it wasn’t safe to speak truthfully, where there might have been strict rules and harsh judgment and/or no healthy model of assertiveness (which is the ideal compromise between aggression and passivity). Children in these scenarios learn to stuff their anger down. It doesn't mean they don't get angry, it just means that they don't directly express that anger, and without intervention most will carry these behaviors into adulthood. This can create toxic relationships because real communication is being blocked.

In this week’s video, I cover:
What Passive Aggressive Behavior Looks Like
Why People Become Passive Aggressive
The Cycle of Passive Aggressive Behavior
How to Stop the Cycle of Passive Aggressive Relationship Interaction

Passive aggressive expression of anger sets up a cycle of ineffective interaction. You don't get the satisfaction of saying it directly and the person you're in a relationship with doesn't get valuable intel about how you feel or the opportunity to be a part of the solution. So after you read this week’s blog and watch the video, download the Cycle of Passive Aggression Cheat Sheet to better understand each stage and begin to express yourself more directly: http://terricole.pages.ontraport.net/...

Drop me a comment and let me know what resonated with you.

If you want to dive even deeper, my pal Mark Groves and I did an amazing 3-hour workshop all about transforming the way you communicate in every area of life. Get scripts, tools, and guidance to gracefully navigate challenging discussions, address misunderstandings, and develop a happier, healthier approach toward communication: https://crushingcommunication.com/

TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - Introduction
0:50 - What is passive aggressive behavior?
2:40 - The origin of passive aggressive behavior
5:00 - The five stages of passive aggressive cycles
11:30 - A personal example of passive aggressive from my marriage and how I resolved it

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ABOUT TERRI COLE:
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global leading expert in female empowerment. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible, and then actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change i.e. true transformation. She empowers over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, Real Love Revolution and Boundary Bootcamp + her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. She is also the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free (April 2021)

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