Therapist PROVES You’re Not CRAZY!! This Is How You Deal with GASLIGHTING | Nedra Glover Tawwab

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On Today's Episode:

Gaslighting is one of those words that once you hear about it, you think to yourself “that’s what I’ve been dealing with all this time!?” When someone is gaslighting you, they are undermining your reality by denying facts and making you think you’re crazy. You find yourself asking questions like: Am I at fault? Did I do something wrong? Am I crazy? Do I need to start recording my conversations? Nedra Glover Tawwab is joining Lisa in this episode to take a deeper dive into manipulation and more specifically, gaslighting. If you’ve been in a relationship where you weren’t even aware that you were being gaslit, or you didn’t have the word to perfectly capture all the craziness and frustration, this is for you! Knowing how to recognize it is the first step in knowing how to respond and avoid being a victim of gaslighting in the future. These are unhealthy relationships to be a part of, getting the knowledge you need so you can apply it in the future is the beginning of stepping into your power.

3 Impactful Ideas from Nedra:
• It's completely okay to not be perfect.
• Arguing is a choice.
• Conflict is a growth tool.

Check Out Nedra’s 1st Episode, Don’t Be Manipulated:    • "Don't Get Used"- Do THIS to Set Boun...  

SHOW NOTES:

Gaslighting | Nedra explains why most people don’t realize it’s happening [2:26]
Apologies | The harm of apologizing when it’s not your fault, not being given apology [5:36]
Change Behavior | Focus on the behavior first not the origin story, action is a must [9:04]
Arguing | Nedra breaks down why arguing is a choice, you do not have to engage [12:29]
Speak Up | Nedra on finding courage to stand your ground and say it’s not your fault [16:14]
Internal Work | Practicing how to externalize the internal dialogue you should be having [20:21]
Be Assertive | Nedra explains difference between assertive and aggressive behavior [23:44]
Behaviors to Stop | Nedra breaks down conflict, the need to be right and denying others [28:21]
Preferences | Nedra exposes why arguing is usually about preferences [33:25]

QUOTES:

“When you're being gaslit, there's no better way to communicate, you could say it five different ways, 100 different times, and this person will say to you, you're not being clear, you're not asking for what you want.” [3:10]

“Anytime you're trying to apologize to keep the peace, that's not an authentic apology. An authentic apology is, I feel like I have truly wronged you, I apologize, and I'm willing to change my behavior.” [6:50]

“It's very hard to acknowledge that you're at fault for something, it doesn't feel good to be accountable. It's not my favorite thing, but it is the thing that I do because it is necessary, and I normalize it” [9:52]

“If you're trying to convince me that I did something for myself to be mistreated, no! We can't have a conversation about that because that's not true. You're making the choice to mistreat me. “ [13:16]

“Sometimes we do things that we're not proud of, and you have to deal with that. And when you deal with that, that helps you to do better in the future,but if you're ignoring it, that means that you continue to mistreat people and to behave in ways that are unhealthy in your relationships.” [15:12]

“We have to hold space to not be perfect, and to acknowledge when we are harming other people.” [18:37]

“Lots of things that we argue about. It is a preference, it's not a rule. It is a place in our relationship where we need to communicate more. [33:41]

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