Understanding the difference between healthy shame and toxic shame. Interview with Seth Lyon

Shame can be a spicy topic to talk about and get to know. Especially if we were abused with a lot of toxic shame growing up.

I started to learn about the complexities of shame when I was in the higher levels of Somatic Experiencing (SE) training, and also through my studies with Kathy Kain and Steve Terrell. Then I got more direct experience around toxic shame and the by-products of it when I met my husband and colleague, Seth Lyon.

The thing with shame is that we only know what we grew up with, and this guest interview with my husband, Seth, outlines the polar opposites of our childhood and how one of us got the healthy kind and the other one got the toxic kind.

Have a watch.

Here are some Questions/Topics I discuss in this chat:

0:00 - Over functioning
4:20 - Healthy Shame example
6:55 - Toxic Shame example
9:48 - Healthy Shame with a baby (video)
14:47 - All shame is not bad
15:07 - Difference between shame and guilt
16:31 - Parenting when had toxic shame as a kid
17:57 - Over functioning as a parent
20:04 - Advice for working with your toxic shame before having kids
24:10 - Caregivers not in alignment & effect on children
25:39 - Doing too much for children
28:38 - Having teens and realizing you may have messed up when they were younger
30:26 - Difference between crying for connection and because of healthy shame
32:05 - Working on yourself as an adult can benefit your grown child(ren)
34:59 - How do I heal myself?
39:47 - Why don’t my children listen the first time?
41:12 - One tip to start
42:26 - Movement and healing trauma


Resources I mention during this video:

► Peter Levine and his work
https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/

► Kathy Kain and her work
https://somaticpractice.net/

► Power Pose - Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk (how our somatic gestures can shift how we feel)    • Your Body Language May Shape Who You ...  

► Disgust - The Gateway Emotion for Healing Toxic Shame
https://irenelyon.com/2019/10/25/disg...

► Special Topic Lecture on Shame - The toxic kind. The healthy kind.
   • Special Topic Lecture: Shame. The Hea...  

► How toxic shame creates the fallout we call depression
https://irenelyon.com/2017/09/14/toxi...

► How to find a good somatic practitioner
https://irenelyon.com/2019/11/14/how-...

_

Thank you for being here!

1. Leave a comment and let me know how this video impacted you. Feel free to leave a question (my team answers them each week!)

2. To get more nervous system health resources, plus learn more about me and my credentials, plus the many ways you can work with me at the practical level, head to my website: https://irenelyon.com

3. Follow me on social here:
Instagram:   / irenelyon  
Facebook:   / lyonirene  
LinkedIn:   / irenelyon  
SoundCloud:   / irenelyon  

4. GOT QUESTIONS? Send an email to: [email protected]

Please know that...

The statements on this YouTube channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.

My website is a wealth of information, free resources, and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: https://irenelyon.com

.
.
.