Tips For Managing Life As A SPED Parent | Special Education Decoded

As a parent of a child with special needs, it can be utterly exhausting at times. Just as you FINALLY lay your head down on the pillow after a full day of “re-directing,” calming, and helping through transitions… your door opens, and your little one is back for more.

And just like that… you’re off again for a third round of “it’s time for nigh-night.”

So, is there anything that can be done to help us through the seemingly endless pursuit of “parenting?”

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Parenting is rewarding, they said…

Parenting is filled with joy, happiness, and glee.

Parenting is fun!

This is the feedback I received before we had our first child…

Now… don’t get me wrong, here… everything I just mentioned is true beyond a shadow of a doubt.

But what so many people fail to tell us as aspiring parents… are the realities of this newfound responsibility…

The diaper changing, sleeplessness, the worry, the constant state of “figuring it out,” the new challenges that arise once you figured out the last one… and on and on.

Adding to the mix would be the unique challenges that arise when you have a child with special needs.

Behaviors turn into meltdowns, the simple tasks turn into monumental struggles, and the sleeplessness never ends.

From the 30 minute forced teeth brushing episodes, to the hour-long toy pick-up sessions… challenges seem to simply snowball as your child ages, with few obstacles ever being replaced.

So how, are we, as SPED parents, supposed to cope with this ever-growing mountain of craziness?

Well, that’s the question we will work toward answering…

Tips To Managing Life As A SPED Parent;

1. Self-Care - Taking care of yourself and allowing time to “unplug” can make such a massive impact in all areas of your life.
a. This is so important, we made an entire video about it… click above to watch.
2. Consistency - Children thrive on consistency.
a. Morning Routine
b. Bedtime Routine
c. Weekend Routine
d. Family Activity - Same Day, Same Time
e. Schedules Help Tremendously
i. Written On a whiteboard and openly discussed every day
ii. Visual Schedules - Pictures that illustrate each activity
f. The bottom line, do not deviate from your child’s schedule.
i. Add New Items To Schedule
3. Live in the moment.
a. Children NEED to know you’re paying attention to them.
i. When they don’t see that you are, they will act out to gain your attention.
b. Put the phone down, eliminate distractions when it’s your time to be with your child.
i. It’s easy to want to drift off into the seemingly perfect world found on social media… but this step is crucial!
c. Children crave your acceptance as their parent.
d. If you NEED to do something during your time with them, put it on their schedule.
i. They can have “iPad Time” when you need to be on the phone, etc.
ii. Just don’t make this a habit.
e. Find A Babysitter
4. Praise in a positive manner
a. Stuck Verbalizing Negative Things
b. When they’re doing what we asked, internally, we take an emotional break and forget to actually TELL our child, “great job,” or “I’m so proud of you.”
c. Positive reinforcement helps children understand;
i. You’re paying attention
ii. They are doing something that makes you happy.
1. Goes back to the acceptance children crave.
5. ReDirects Can Work
a. Not Classic ReDirects
b. I am referring to changing an activity you can tell is leading to a behavior issue.
c. Example;
i. My kids were playing with hatchimals. My son (with autism) was getting upset because he wanted one of his sister’s hatchimals.
ii. Instead of letting the situation play out and later getting upset because they’re fighting;
iii. I stepped in and introduced a new character that my son could play with… a toy dinosaur.
iv. This ended the argument between my kids before it got off the ground.
d. ReDirects, in this example, is warding off a tense situation

I know this merely scratches the surface of tips and tricks us SPED parents use.

The bottom line here is that no matter how tough things seem in this moment, it will get better. I’ve found that no matter what is happening… if I think hard enough, there has been a time in my life that’s been worse.

Now… that statement may seem very odd, but I’ve found that by allowing myself the understanding that it HAS been worse before, puts the current situation into a different perspective.

None of what I’ve covered here is easy. None of what I’ve discussed will come without adding a new set of challenges…

But through consistent action, you, your child, and your family can begin to live the life “they” said you would before you gained the title of parent.

If you have any questions on Managing Life As A SPED Parent, please leave a comment or email us directly [email protected]