Habits: The Strategy of Pairing

http://www.gretchenrubin.com FFor me, the Strategy of Pairing was such a familiar approach to habit formation that it took me a long time to notice it. I’d used it often in my own life, and it came so naturally to me that I didn’t give it much thought. When I happened to mention it, however, people responded with so much interest and enthusiasm that I realized it deserved to be studied as its own strategy. In the Strategy of Pairing, I couple two activities, one that I need or want to do, and one that I don’t particularly want to do, to get myself to accomplish them both. It’s not a reward, it’s not a treat, it’s just a pairing.

I’ve used pairing to help me stick to the habit of exercise myself. Although I’ve shaped myself into a dedicated if low-intensity exerciser, I still sometimes feel the pull of my couch-potato nature, and pairing helps me keep my gym habit strong. I love reading magazines, and Jamie and I still subscribe to lots of old-fashioned print magazines—nineteen, the last time I counted—and I allow myself to read them only at the gym, when I’m on the cardio machines. (The fact that I can easily read magazines while I exercise may suggest that I’m not exercising very hard—and I’m not. But at least I’m showing up.) My sister does the same thing with her home treadmill and the Real Housewives shows. “It really makes me want to do the treadmill,” she explained. During college, I used pairing to get myself to exercise: I wouldn’t let myself take a shower unless I’d exercised. I’d go a day, or maybe two, without a shower, but pretty soon I really wanted that shower.