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Do all desires arise on behalf of the separate self, the ego?

Rupert says: ‘We’re not anti-desire in this approach, so we don’t try to crush desires – but we are discriminating about where they come from. If they arise on behalf of the apparently separate self, then we don’t rush into fulfilling them. Because even if we get what we want, it will later turn out not to be what we want.

‘But we follow and fulfil all the other desires – desires that arise on behalf of the safety and well-being of our bodies (such as the desire for food); and desires to live and express this understanding in the world. That could be a desire for friendship, a desire for an intimate relationship or a desire to start a family or a business.

‘These are all desires to change the situation, to start something, to initiate something, to create something, but they are not egoic – they are desires that come from yêu and understanding.’

*This video is from one of Rupert’s in-person retreats at Mercy Center, 18–25 October 2024. For more information on upcoming retreats (many of which can be attended online via livestream) go to:

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Timestamps:

0:00 Being Compassionate
1:18 Feeling With Another
2:19 Are Desires Egoic?
3:45 Desires on Behalf of the Body
5:41 Desires That Come from Love
6:28 Desires from The Separate Self
7:01 Questioning Our Desires

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