How Codependent Sees YOU (Intimate Partner)

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I need you, depend on you, won’t survive without you, I am afraid that you will dump me

I can’t make sense of the world without you, I need you to make decisions for me, to rescue and protect me from myself, I am so unsure of who I am and what is the best course of action

I have so ambition, energy, and imagination. But I lack self-confidence and it holds them back. I don't trust my own abilities and judgment. That’s where you come in as my alter ego.

Tell me that you love me all the time

It feels so wonderful to love you, to be needed and wanted, it makes me feel alive again

I want to be one with you

I love myself through you

I demand that you give me what I need because I always give you what you need, unquestioningly, unhesitatingly, submitting to your every whim and wish, I never disagree with you or criticize you

I love you, don’t ever live me, take me everywhere with you, we will do everything together always, I will be your child and you will keep me safe (in house stalking)

Never mind what you do to me, I will always be here by your side and have your back, I will save you, have pity on you, and redeem you

I feel guilty and responsible for your abuse and because sometimes I am considering abandoning you

Consequently, as I have written in the Open Site Encyclopedia entry on this disorder:

"The codependent moulds himself/herself and bends over backward to cater to the needs of his nearest and dearest and satisfy their every whim, wish, expectation, and demand. Nothing is too unpleasant or unacceptable if it serves to secure the uninterrupted presence of the codependent's family and friends and the emotional sustenance s/he can extract (or extort) from them.

The codependent does not feel fully alive when alone. S/he feels helpless, threatened, ill-at-ease, and child-like. This acute discomfort drives the codependent to hop from one relationship to another. The sources of nurturance are interchangeable. To the codependent, being with someone, with anyone, no matter who, is always preferable to solitude."

Typology of Codependents

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