Inside the dark, twisted, musical Mind of Nene Momosuzu [hololive/engsub]

Nene Momosuzu plays Minecraft.

Original stream:    • 【Minecraft】🍑中毒🍑【桃鈴ねね/ホロライブ】  

Nene's channel:    / @momosuzunene  

Big thanks to ‪@kurapan_clips‬ for QC help and Gappasaurus for the clip recommendation (respectively)!




Somewhere in the archipelago of Japan, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a young woman lived not long ago, one of those who has green eyes and pinkish-blonde hair and keeps carrots and other roots in jars for preservation.

Her name was Nene Momosuzu.

Hers is a rich history, steeped in deeds both daring and ridiculous. They say her list of feats overruns the Github originally set aside to contain it. And her various names would fill several volumes in their length and magnificence.

I could never possibly relate the history of the incomparable, never sufficiently praised Nene Momosuzu in a humble description box under a YouTube video. But perhaps I shall have sufficient room to tell of her first sally.

Nene spent the summer reading manga and watching anime of the most sublime sort. The genre was chuunibyou, and if you don’t know what that is, then you aren’t a big enough weeb to be reading this. Nights she spent reading and watching such works of art, the candle melting low in the candelabra, the sun cresting and rising with days and nights passing one after the other. Eventually, she read so many plots characterized by edgy soliloquies, hidden power levels, mysterious abilities gained through Faustian bargains, and unnecessary eye-patches that her mind turned to complete mush.

Having read and watched all there was to read and watch on the subject of chuunibyou, Nene got up, left her study, fashioned an eye-patch out of a sock, saddled her trusty bicycle, whom she dubbed ‘Mesarode, Chariot of Superluminal Velocity’, and pedalled out in search of adventure.

Along the way, she came across a man unfamiliar to her. The village idiot, Sancho Maple, a man who spent much of his time writing weird fanfiction in the mud around the sodden earth near the town well. People came from several villages around to see what nonsense he had written in the mud, and to laugh and to count their lucky stars that they were not him.

Nene came face to face with Sancho Maple and, in a dramatic MacBethian tone, addressed him thus:

“Who is this that dares approach the dark stature of I, Nene Momosuzu, bent as I am towards purpose sinister? Come against my inexorable two-wheeled ride and you will come to a bad end, flattened and much the worse for wear. For I am the Ultimate Dealer in Ultimate Darkness, The Shining God of the Idol Galaxy, The True Representative of all things Orange, The Dervish of Dance and Destruction, The Suzerain of Armpit Sweat, The Floral Lady of Not-Smelling-Stinky, The Eater of Cherry Tomatoes, and the Pushkin Poet of both Push-ups and Sit-ups. Now, knave, what say you to all that?”

“I say I am late to be drawing in the mud, M’Lady.”

“Forget the mud! You are under my inescapable persuasion now. For you see, I am part vampire, and do possess such powers.”

“But it’s midday, M’Lady. Shouldn’t you be engulfed in flames if such were true?”

“Fool! Can you not plainly see that I am also an extraterrestrial visitor on this planet? What of your sun? 'Tis nothing but a blip in the sky! I fear it no more than I fear death itself! Which is to say not at all!”

“Well, I don’t know much about such things. I am just a simple mud-writer after all.”

“So you are. But what say you to this proposition: Become my squire. Wait on me in all my conquerings and deeds of unspeakable darkness. The path will be perilous but the reward, great.”

“What reward?”

“My left sock after a long day of dance lessons.”

“When do we leave?”

TO BE CONTINUED





PERSONAL PROMOTION DO NOT READ

If you liked the nonsense above, check out the comedic, fantasy light novel I’m writing at: https://ko-fi.com/mapleleafpublicatio...

Or don’t. You’re wonderful either way :)