Do INFJs Attract Betrayal?

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often feel unseen and unheard in relationships. They also share a pattern of abandonment and betrayal in relationships. Most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types understand that this pattern is a pattern that they also experienced in childhood, when one or both parents were untrustworthy and/or emotionally unavailable, but they don’t understand why they keep repeating the pattern in adulthood. They also don’t understand why it seems they actually attract people who will end up betraying them, including narcissistic and other manipulative personality types.

The reason that INFJ personality types and INFP personality types experience a pattern of betrayal in their lives is because of a deeply ingrained pattern of self-abandonment. When a person engages in consistent self-abandonment, the indicators of this behavior can be seen clearly by others, including narcissists. Self-abandonment means that a person routinely violates their own boundaries in order to meet the needs or preferences of others. When a person violates their own boundaries like this enough times, the person begins to subconsciously distrust themselves and doubts their own decisions. There are small ways that other people can pick up on this pattern of self-abandonment in INFJ personality types and INFP personality types and they then become easy targets for manipulators.

In order to interrupt the pattern of betrayal it’s important for INFJ personality types and INFP personality types to heal the pattern of self-abandonment by beginning to honor their own needs and limits before the preferences of others, no matter what kind of negative reaction they receive. This takes time and training, but it can be done. The key is to start with small steps toward asserting boundaries.

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