The Group Mind Has Decided You're In Love - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

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The Group Mind Has Decided You're In Love
Starring Pete Gardner, David Hull, Rachel Bloom, Vincent Rodriguez III, Michael McMillian, Esther Povitsky, Clark Moore, Donna Lynne Champlin, Gabrielle Ruiz, Vella Lovell, and Scott Michael Foster
Written by Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger, and Aline Brosh McKenna

Maya:
YOU SAY YOU’RE BROKEN UP
THAT IT’S OVER
YES, YOU’VE BOTH BEEN ‘BOUT
AS STUBBORN AS CAN BE

Rebecca:
You tell ‘em, Maya!

Maya:
BUT WE SEE FROM AFAR
JUST HOW CUTE YOU ARE
AND THE THOUGHT OF IT
MAKES EVERYONE ALL SQUEE

Rebecca, AJ, Tim & Maya:
SQUEE SQUEE SQUEE!

Tim:
WE DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE
FIGHTIN’ THE INEVITABLE

Rebecca:
With ya, Timmy!

Tim:
IT’S CLEAR TO US
THAT YOU BOTH ARE SOULMATES
PLUS, YOU’RE KINDA THE ONLY TWO
LGBTQ
PEOPLE I KNOW SO, TO ME, IT’S CLEARLY FATE!

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
FATE FATE FATE!

WhiJo:
You need to get out more, Tim.

Maya:
IT’S CONFIRMED

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
IT’S CONFIRMED

Tim:
IT’S OFFICIAL

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
IT’S OFFICIAL

Tim & Maya:
THE GROUP MIND HAS DECIDED YOU’RE IN LOVE!

AJ:
COURT ADJOURNED

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
COURT ADJOURNED

Rebecca:
NOW, KISS A LITTLE

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
KISS A LITTLE

THE MASS MOB HAS DECLARED THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE!
LOVE LOVE LOVE

WhiJo:
Rebecca, don’t you have bigger problems going on right now?

Rebecca:
Yes, and this is a welcome distraction!

NOW, YOU MIGHT SAY
WE JUST NEED A DISTRACTION

Darryl:
You just said that!

Rebecca:
Shh!
FROM THE STRESS AND DRAMA OF OUR LIVES
BUT I GO, “LALALALA,” WHEN YOU SWEAR
THAT THERE’S NOTHING THERE

AJ:
YOUR LOVE’S THE ONLY REASON I SURVIVE

Darryl:
SORRY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

Rebecca:
IT’S CONFIRMED

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
IT’S CONFIRMED

AJ:
IT’S OFFICIAL

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
IT’S OFFICIAL

Rebecca & AJ:
THE GROUP MIND HAS DECIDED YOU’RE IN LOVE!

AJ:
SAY “YES” TO LONG TERM

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
SAY “YES”

Rebecca:
LOOK WHAT I WHITTLED

Rebecca, AJ, Tim, & Maya:
HOT DANG!

THE MASS MOB HAS DECLARED THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE!
LOVE LOVE LOVE

Tim:
EVERYBODY STRETCH
TIME TO DANCE

Darryl:
What are you guys doing here?

Paula:
We all want you back together, too!

Darryl:
Who’s this guy?

Paula:
I needed a dance partner and i’ve had a really hard week, so please let me have this.

WhiJo:
Okay, so this is not about us anymore.

Darryl:
They’re randomly doing ballet now?

WhiJo:
That is not the correct dance language for this piece.

Nathaniel:
Stop it! Leave these guys alone. For the record, it is possible to be platonically friends with someone you’ve broken up with!

Tim:
Do you really believe that?

Nathaniel:
No, I just wanted to be in the number.

Group:
KISS KISS KISS KISS!
DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE!
KISS DANCE! KISS DANCE!
KISS-DANCE KISS-DANCE KISS-DANCE
YAY!

Group:
IT’S CONFIRMED, WEE-HA!
IT’S OFFICIAL, YEE-HOO!
THE GROUP MIND HAS DECIDED YOU’RE IN LOVE!

Maya:
HEY, WHERE’D THEY GO?

Tim:
WHO CARES?

Group:
HORSE!