He Will Take Care of You | Prayer Set | 5.9.24

Hi fam :) I hope everyone has been safe and well ~ I just got back from a trip to England with my accountability sisters so I apologize for being a little MIA!

Soo a little bit about me… I struggle with General Anxiety Disorder and some other mental health issues. 2 years ago, I went through the hardest season of my life with my mental health where I was having panic attacks every night, anxiety attacks from the moment I woke up, severe health anxiety, depression, heart palpitations, and the whole 9 yards. It was such a scary time in my life and I found myself so scared and exhausted from being scared everyday. It was a serious mental health low and I found myself begging the Lord to save my life and free me from the battle in my mind everyday, every second, even making it difficult to sleep.

Thankfully by the grace of God, I was able to make it out of that season and heal a lot. It was a long trek, but with the people He surrounded me with, and the way He journeyed with me, I have been a lot better since then.

Unfortunately, recently, a lot of my anxiety and fear has been coming back… I have severe health anxiety, like the one where I feel like I have all these crazy medical issues and then the anxiety from those worries manifests into physical symptoms. I feel like I can never take a break from my thoughts & my fears, and anxiety feels like this thing that torments me every day. I feel so helpless and weak, and yet I wish everyday that I wouldn’t have to deal with my anxiety bc its more than just mental, it’s physical as well… it’s just really tiring… I always feel my heart palpitating, or my throat is always closing up or like there’s a lump in my throat, etc. and like it was 2 years ago, waking up and feeling this way all day has been so mentally taxing and physically/ emotionally exhausting.

In this place, I find myself reaching out to the Lord seeking that He would take me out from the depths of my pain and fear. Asking that He would save me, but then becoming discouraged as I see how long I’ve been stuck in this pit of anxiety. Honestly, I’ll find myself asking the question, “will He take care of me?”. Telling Him, “God, I’m so scared. I don’t want to be alone. It’s so tiring and hard fighting this on my own. It’s so hard feeling trapped & oppressed by my mind, being trapped in fear and hopelessness.”

But the Lord recently took me back to Matthew 14 when Peter walked on water. There’s a specific part that Jesus spoke to me in. After Peter gets afraid from looking at the waves, wind, and storm all around him and he starts sinking, it says “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” It says that Jesus IMMEDIATELY reached out His hand to save Peter when he asked for help. Before he said “O you of little faith”, Jesus immediately saves Peter. This is the kind of God He is. One to save us, help us, love us. And yet in the middle of my anxiety, all that the enemy is trying to fill me with is doubt. “Will He really save me? Will He really do what He says He’ll do? What if it’s for others but not me?” etc. etc.

I had to really face why I’m so afraid & honestly I’m still figuring it out and trying to lay it all down. But I’ve found that the moments where I feel the most peace is when I let go. When I really fall into recognizing that my life is not my own, and whether I live or die is Christ & Christ alone. And honestly, that’s a scary thought. But also recognizing that this is the best for me. I always feel like I need to be in control of my life or defend myself, take care of my family, be strong for others, protect myself, etc. because growing up there was no one to defend me. No one to help me or save me when I was being hurt. I dealt with a lot of abandonment. But Jesus… He’s never let me go and never let me down and I’m always fighting to have faith that His words are true. He promises me that HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ME. That He has plans to prosper me not to harm me, to give me hope and a good future. That it is God’s good pleasure to give us the kingdom. That He does NOT give us a spirit of fear but of power, love and sound mind. That He commands us not to be afraid or have anxiety because He is stronger than that, bigger than that, and HE WILL save me out of the pit. That even if I were to go through what my mind thinks is the worst case scenario, that Jesus will never leave me and that He will work all things for good. That my life is in His hands and He has my best intentions in mind. That even if I do suffer, it’s to teach me something that I had to learn that way, or to make me more like Him and to draw me nearer to Him, that He’ll never just hurt me for the sake of doing so and that it will always be under His sovereign protection (like with Job).

I hope this set allows you to lean into His love & truth♡ love you guys!