How Often Should Married Couples Make Love? | Paul Friedman

Have you ever wonder how often should married couples make love with each other? Watch Paul talk about this topic and learn more.

It's a good question but there's a better question. I'm going to try to give you some insight into this topic that you hadn't thought of before which will change your life. It'll change your
marriage, it will change your views on many things. If you're asking this question it means that you truly are not sure whether you're interacting at a frequency that makes sense so the simple
answer is that no two couples are the same but I am going to tell you some things about this topic but before I talk about how women should respond to their husbands and husbands should respond to their wives, and I promise you I will get there. I want to take you back.

I want to take you back to before you got married and ask you -- pretend you're not married yet. Pretend you haven't met the person you fell in love with just pretend and pretend that we bump into each other at the coffee shop and I am taking a survey and I ask you, "What's a good reason to get married?" And you could approach this from a subjective point of view or objectively, either way, it's fine with me and I ask you this question and $100 to $1.00 you're going to say things like, well, it's the next step in a relationship or it's when a couple wants to be with their soulmate both of them or people want to have a family so they could leave a legacy and those are all good answers and I know that that would probably be your answer too because I did that over 20 years ago.

I used to be a divorce mediator and then I shifted my practice and my first question was, why do people want to get married? But there's an answer none of those answers did it for me. They just weren't compelling. I'd been married and those were not compelling answers and I didn't know the answer and it took me a while before it finally came to me and it was a shocker in a way and I realized people get married because they want to be happier. No one ever said that to me. Not one person and that's going back to all the years I was working with people individually. No one ever says that I wanted to be happier, isn't that funny? And yet it's the obvious truth but there's
the second level to this, a deeper level and that is the question of, what makes a person happy?

There's a lot of people who will say, "Well, it wouldn't hurt to have more money in my bank account. It wouldn't hurt to have a new car, a nice house." And all the studies that have ever
been done in terms of material wealth at every strata. Typically, I think it's like over 80% everyone just wants a little more no matter how much they have, a little more and I'll be happy and it doesn't make them permanently happy. In fact, they're usually on to the next level of material
desires before they even enjoy what they have achieved even though they recognize they've achieved certain strata of material success they always wanted more. This means the entire material realm at best creates fleeting happiness and on the other side fleeting distress when something goes wrong. It's never permanent.

I lost a son even that wasn't permanent distress, it was deep and it lasted a while but it wasn't permanent but there is something that produces permanent happiness. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter how you were raised on and on and that is love, unconditional love. That is why people get married and I studied this topic very deeply and I could get into some other aspects of that.

For instance, how the mind interacts with you a soul and how your body comes into play in all this -- it's a fascinating study. When you start looking at it closely you can't miss or ignore the fact that we are essentially souls who have, we possess a body and we possess a mind and
that soul is love, love itself. And so that's why we have this need for love. We have to have it. It's the better part of us. We need love, the soul part of us needs love as much as the body part of us needs air and water and food for survival. I'm going to go a step further.

The material part of us is also fleeting just like everything else that is material -- it's fleeting but the soul is on and on, it's infinite. It transcends time and space and we know this just by a little meditation. We can feel who we are, we can feel that love but we don't have to meditate to feel it. When you got married you felt it while you were giving, exchanging your vows. You felt this love that was you, that was your spouse, that was you the essential soul expressing itself and you feel that at every wedding that you go to. It's an amazing thing so this is the reality of
what you really want is you want that deep love. "Yeah, but I want some sex too." Sure, no problem.

Watch the video for more.

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