Скачать или смотреть Продолжение серии о критике в личных отношениях

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Answering a listener’s question:
“What was this criticism really about?
What was behind it — and who was it actually for?”
Hi everyone, I’m Maryna.
And this is the next part of our series on understanding criticism.
Sometimes criticism is about a specific action.
Sometimes it’s about someone’s expectations.
And sometimes… it’s not about you at all.
And when you see that clearly, you can finally ask:
“What do I need to notice here so it doesn’t hit me this deeply next time?” If pain comes up — let it.
If you feel hurt, embarrassed, or vulnerable — don’t shut it down. That’s a real emotional response.
Give yourself permission to feel it with dignity:
cry if you need to, breathe, acknowledge the sting.
And only after that — from clarity — decide what to do next.
Share in the comments how this shows up for you.
Your experience helps others feel less alone.
Emotional intelligence: regulating your own emotions
There’s a 2–15 minutes window where we can regulate our own state without placing that responsibility on someone else.
Emotions always point to unmet needs.
Our job is to learn the behaviors that help us meet those needs. Look at yourself from the outside
Criticism often highlights something you don’t like in yourself. And that’s where reducing resistance becomes important.
Because when we can’t protect our boundaries,
we start collapsing internally. The positive intention behind criticism
Here are a few questions to write down — they help you reflect:
• What positive intention might this person have had • What do these relationships need
• What can I bring into them • What am I learning about myself through this criticism. This isn’t about excusing someone. It’s about getting your clarity back.
We can’t control others — but we can stay connected to ourselves
Having a strong connection with yourself means allowing others to have their own reality. And taking responsibility only for your part without trying to fix or educate anyone. That’s where real inner strength comes from.

Why behavior becomes chaotic
When a person doesn’t understand what emotion they’re missing, their behavior becomes chaotic.
Criticism works like a mirror: it shows where you don’t like your own reactions, your words, or your behavior. We all have multiple inner critics.
And each one needs a different kind of conversation.
Understanding your emotions helps you stop freezing
When you understand your emotional “receptors,”
you stop shutting down. In coaching sessions, we learn to express needs, name them, and create our own sense of safety. Because if you don’t recognize your need,
you can’t take care of yourself.

How to know if your emotion is helping or harming
Ask yourself: “Is what I’m feeling right now helping me solve the problem?”
Sometimes you need to calm yourself.
Sometimes you need to give yourself what creates safety. For example: If I feel lonely, I don’t pull on someone else for emotional relief. I acknowledge the need and choose an action that meets it.
And if I need help — I ask the people who can actually support me. Once you’ve processed the criticism — you can move on. When you’ve felt the emotion in your body and mind,
you shift into a new state.
There’s a metaphor in the Bible: “changing old garments.” It’s like letting go of old thoughts and beliefs. Criticism isn’t about your worth.
It’s about an action that didn’t fit someone.
Like a shirt that’s the wrong size.
Choose something new — something that won’t stick to your next time. Using criticism for growth
Ask yourself: “How can this criticism help me move to my next level?” Being able to accept yourself and others even with the emotions that rise that’s maturity. Emotions are energy. They expand your perspective and make you deeper. Thank you for being here with me today. If what I share resonates with you —
if you want to understand your reactions, your needs,
and the patterns that shape your relationships —
I’m open to 1:1 coaching sessions.
Together, we can look at your specific pattern,
see where you lose your grounding,
and bring back the clarity that becomes your inner strength. If you want to keep growing with me hit subscribe so you don’t miss the next videos.
And tell me in the comments:
What did you discover about yourself today?
Your reflections help others recognize themselves too.
Focusturn.com coachforsingles.com