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“I don’t understand why criticism hurts me so much.
Why I lose myself from just one comment.”
Hi, I’m Maryna.
This is a real story about my friend who came to me with these words.
And what he was afraid of wasn’t criticism itself —
it was unfair intrusion. Because as a child, his feelings were constantly dismissed. Let me ask you something.
Has anything like this ever happened to you?
Think about how adults often speak to a child:
“Stop making things up.” That doesn’t hurt.” “Stop crying.”
Or “You’re a boy — boys don’t cry.”
What else do you remember hearing?
And here’s what happens to a child who hears this again and again:
They stop trusting themselves.
And eventually, their behavior becomes an unconscious pattern —
a belief that forms quietly inside:
“My emotions don’t matter.” “My feelings are wrong.”
So, when this child grows up and someone criticizes them,
they don’t hear the words. They feel a threat.
And in that moment, something important happens:
they don’t lose control over themselves they lose control over the situation.
This is the part I want you to really hear.
Because their inner safety system turns on exactly the way it did in childhood: freeze, please, disappear, explain, justify, prove, control.
These “safety behaviors” are automatic impulses old beliefs, old meanings, missing skills all trying to bring back a sense of grounding.
And you know what my friend told me a few weeks later?
“For the first time in my life, I feel like I can trust myself.
My emotions aren’t a mistake.
I can hear criticism and still stay connected to myself.”
And that’s the most important part.
Not to stop feeling but to stop being ashamed of what you feel.
If you’re listening right now and recognizing yourself —
this is normal. This is not weakness.
This is the echo of emotional invalidation. And it can be rewritten.
If emotional maturity, attachment patterns, and coming back to yourself resonate with you — stay close. I’ll be sharing stories, tools, and strategies that help people rebuild their inner compass.
And if you want to understand your own pattern more deeply, see your logic, and restore emotional grounding — I’m open for individual coaching sessions.
I’ll keep sharing what helps people return to themselves, understand their reactions, and build relationships from inner stability rather than pain.
Subscribe to the channel.
Visit my website: focusturn.com
Share in the comments what resonates with you, what you value, and what you want to explore for your own grounding.
And welcome to your own return to yourself.
Focusturn.com