Chinese Safety Video Tierlist

A tierlist ranking different chinese safety videos

Kofi link: https://ko-fi.com/stoicstick

Chinese Safety Video Tierlist

All these workplace rules got you feeling down? Do you sometimes think are all these safety rules even necessary? Is OSHA so far up your behind, they actually give you dental advice? Well this video is the video for you. Thanks to the wonderful world of Chinese workplace safety violations we can see what life would be like without all these stupid rules. These safety videos are like lite, and portray some really horrifying but its done in a bright animation style that makes the whole thing seem like a joke, and im 99% sure that most of these are based on real life events that’s why they are super detailed and specific. Anyway we are going to be watching some and ranking them based on a tierlist based on how painful/excruciating the are. The tiers are completely fine, minor injuries, instantaneous , excruciating and dumb excruciating . I mean you can kinda tell based on the tiers alone what kind of video this is going to be but because I love safety tm im going to be drawing correct takeaways from each clip so you don’t have to. Lets just get right into it. This first clip I like to call duct tape efficiency. As you can see we have the victim using a press machine to press metal plates, but it’s a little slow for his liking so genius that he is he duct tapes the button down for ultimate efficiency and I mean look at him go he is clearly on a roll now, but theres a slight problem. He was so very close to getting it if he had stayed consistent and decided to duct tape the foot pedal aswell he would have 100% survived this, so really the moral of this video is consistency is key especially when you decide to be stupid. His coworker manages to get to him out but im pretty sure the force of the machine probably has already cracked his skull and given the fact his legs are no longer moving its safe to say hes not with us anymore. This will be a pretty easy dumb excruciating tier because the force of the first few crushes may not have him instantly but he definitely died as a result of being dumb. The next clip I have dubbed Metal T Rex Stanky Leg, which will make sense when we watch the video. So there is this tunnel boring machine that they are likely adding track to and you have the victim placing a log ontop of the tracks for whatever reason, then he performs one of the weakest stanky legs I have ever seen and the metal t rex so offended by the lack of coordination decided to smoosh his skull. His coworker then screams “help he has turned into a crying emoji”. I don’t know if this is a common thing in China where out of shame they turn into crying emojis but if I got taken out the way he did id probably shamefully transform into a crying emoji too. Yea this guy was here one second and gone the next he got an instantaneous ticket to the afterlife, so yes he will be put in the instantaneous tier. Maybe this will be a warning to all the viewers out there, if your stanky leg aint that stanky you gotta keep it to yourself. This next ones called taken out with the trash. And I mean yeah it’s a pretty way to go, I did some loose maths and, the weight of the sand ontop of him should be around 1-2 tonnes so he is probably crushed or atleast bleeding internally very heavily depending on how much of the sand is actually pushing down on him, Probably gonna go into excruciating tier because imagine being picked up and rammed into a huge pile of sand face first. The takeaway for this clip is… well maybe just don’t work on a jobsite in china… I mean glory to the CCP workplace accidents are a capitalist myth and you will be sent to reeducation centres for disagreeing. This next one I like to call crouching tiger flying crane and you will immediately see why. So yea this guy needs a work safety service medal or something, that was some quick thinking, jumping out of the crane as soon as he noticed there was a failure in cables that held up the arm. Had he done a superhero landing and had all the force applied to his knee joints I might have put him into the minor injuries tier but he correctly rolled to dissipate the energy so into the completely fine tier he goes. I give this a 10/10 and so would your local orthopaedic surgeon and the moral for this clip is be cool as hell and you will always survive. This next clip I am calling pimp my forklift. Similar to an episode of pimp my ride they managed to make it appear to work better but in practice it was functionally dumb just like the show, now that I think about it some of those mods really were stupid, like the hearse that had a casket with a grill inside or the gambler maxxers dream van that had a slot machine on the side, anyway back to the video, that guy definitely is crippled for life but he might still be alive based on the physics of the coil sliding away,