Kristin M, Snowden, MA, LMFT, CDWF specializes in betrayal trauma, addiction recovery, and helping individuals/couples navigate relationship crises (Co-hosted by Tami Verhelst of SexandRelationshipHealing.com). Kristin discusses 5 key things to remember during relationship crisis (due to infidelity, addiction, family betrayal, financial betrayal, etc.).
1) Is the Threat Still There?
Betrayal trauma refers to the damage that is caused when you experience betrayal in your primary relationship that damages the trust, safety, and security of the bond you have with your partner. Infidelity and addiction destroy trust and safety in relationships, as they often occur with severe acts of dishonesty, denial, minimization, and gaslighting.
2) Do You and Your Partner Have the Right Kind of Support and Help?
Betrayed partners can feel re-traumatized by mental health professionals and/or loved ones who make them feel as if they are to blame for their partner’s betrayal. Thus, it is important that the people who support you do so in empathetic, non-shaming ways.
3) Normalize vs. Stigmatize
The more you can educate yourself and notice what you’re experiencing (physically and emotionally) and why you’re experiencing it, the more likely you are to regain a sense of agency in your life.
1. Know your trauma
2. Know your shame triggers.
3. Help your partner understand what you’re going through.
4. Give yourself some grace.
4) Work Toward Healing Your “Trauma” Brain
Trauma has significant, long-term effect on your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Part of your healing and recovery is often incorporating trauma therapy that helps you “heal” your “trauma/survival” brain. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic Experiencing (SE), neurofeedback, meditation, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and more.
5) Work on Rekindling Your Intuition and Reclaim Parts of Your Life
Betrayal destroys trust, safety, and security can contribute to your losing confidence in your basic decision-making abilities and questioning your identity, values, and intuition. Intuition is a primal drive that helps keep you safe and helps you avoid further victimization.
(THIS IS EDUCATIONAL ONLY, THIS IS NOT THERAPY)
https://www.kristinsnowden.com | [email protected]
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Highlights
1:40 List of five things to do
2:30 Define betrayal trauma
4:18 Is the threat still there and to what extent?
5:18 It’s important to assess if you’re in an unsafe environment
6:40 Questions to ask yourself to assess your partner’s willingness and safety
8:00 Consequences of living in an unsafe and emotionally abusive home
9:48 Do you and your partner have the right help and support
11:28 Surround yourself with professionals and loved ones who are stable and non-shaming
12:23 Caution in seeking the right therapeutic support
13:20 Importance of finding a group
15:00 Suggestions for “Rules of Engagement”
16:04 Normalize vs. Stigmatize what you’re experiencing due to your betrayal trauma
16:50 PTSD Symptoms
17:15 How to “normalize”
17:26 Know your Trauma: why is relational trauma so destructive
19:00 Know your shame triggers
21:30 Help stabilize your nervous system
22:35 Work on healing your trauma brain
22:43 Types of trauma therapy
24:10 Importance of group work
24:31 What trauma therapy might look like
26:25 Goal of trauma work
27:32 Working to reconnect with self and rekindle your intuition
29:35 Ways to reconnect w intuition
Upload my FREE eBook: A Guide to Navigating Relationship Crisis: https://bit.ly/RelationshipCrisis to set you down a path toward healing and clarity. A collection of education, important first steps, and resources to get you through the crisis.
Get Kristin's Relationship Masterclass: Resiliency & Recovery Access her full online library of eye-opening content, helpful tools, comprehensive workbook, and much more. Options for one-on-one LIVE COACHING with Kristin http://bit.ly/RRROnlineProgram
**Join Kristin's LIVE (zoom) WORKSHOPS for betrayed partners and beyond. New sessions posted! http://bit.ly/KristinsWorkshops
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JOIN KRISTIN'S FREE LIVE WEBINARS EVERY ODD MONTH, THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH AT 9:30 AM (pacific time) through SexandRelationshipHealing.com . Zoom link:
https://zoom.us/j/244109360
#betrayaltraumarecovery #couplesincrisis #couplestherapy #addictionrecovery #Infidelity #crisismanagement #healthyrelationships
Kristin book: Life Anonymous: 12 Steps to Heal & Transform Your Life http://bit.ly/LifeAnonymousBook
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