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Welcome to my “Matchmaking For Raccoons” MASTERCLASS. This is my life now - playing Cupid for trash pandas.
So here’s little lady politely washing… because trash pandas shouldn’t eat GARBAGE with DIRTY hands. Her date’s late - probably got stuck in tree trunk traffic behind a slow possum. Which is the raccoon version of a subway delay.
And boom — here comes prince charming, Paws on the table like, ‘Let’s EAT.’ Slow down little fella, maybe next time say hi first…or offer her a marshmallow.
To set the mood for our couple, I try to make a happy face out of sunflower seeds. Lasts about one second before it’s vacuumed up like it never existed.
And here’s some general dating advice — don’t bite your partner’s tail. It’s not cotton candy. You’re not at the fair. You’ll lose a lot of friends that way - ya know.
I make another happy face — this time it lasts a record-breaking two seconds of glory.
My art gallery has a very fast turnover rate.
And check out this romantic move — Our little lady chews up grape… and spits it out ON MY LAP. And I think — that’s love– it can be messy sometimes and STILL be sweet.