Gaslighting and ADHD

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Main Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:10 Example of Gaslighting
00:51 Take home message
03:39 What is Gaslighting?
15:48 Gaslighting and ADHD
26:44 How to Prevent Gaslighting
29:11 Conclusion
30:20 Questions

The word "gaslighting" originally referred to intentional manipulation to make someone question their sanity, but the term has increasingly been broadened. Some even use gaslighting to describe any interaction where someone feels that they are being misled or manipulated.

Many therapists encourage the view that those with ADHD grow up with so much criticism that as adults they are very likely to become victims of (further) gaslighting. But this fails to recognize that those with ADHD process the world around them differently than neurotypical individuals, and are therefore likely to perceive and recall events differently. This could lead to feeling that one is being gaslighted, when more benign explanations for discrepant experiences and recollections may apply.

Narcissism, manipulativeness, a desire to harm others (sadism), and psychopathy are all linked with gaslighting others. Some of these traits are linked to ADHD, but some are not, making it unclear whether those with ADHD are really more likely than the general population to gaslight others. However, because those with ADHD have tendencies to act impulsively, and to be less aware of other’s physical and emotional space, their behavior is more likely to be perceived by others as gaslighting.

In general, those being gaslit should, for their safety, minimize or eliminate contact with the perpetrator. There are no fool-proof ways to determine with certainty if someone is gaslighting you. But being open to alternative explanations for behavior, trying to observe rather than judge, and minimizing one’s own anger, may strengthen channels of communication to more effectively sort out what is going on in a relationship.

Gaslighting is like ADHD: you don’t want to miss it when present, or diagnose it when absent. Having ADHD increases the likelihood of being a victim of gaslighting, but also boosts the chances of mistaking someone else’s behavior to be gaslighting. ADHD may increase the likelihood of gaslighting someone else, and it almost certainly increases the probability that one’s behavior will be misinterpreted as gaslighting.

References:
So You Think You’ve Been Gaslit (The New Yorker, Leslie Jamison 2024)
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/20...

Gaslight and gaslighting (2018)
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/la...

“It’s All in Your Head”: Personality Traits and Gaslighting Tactics in Intimate Relationships (2023)
https://link.springer.com/article/10....

Knowing ADHD Facts Makes You Gaslight Proof (Gina Pera, the ADHD Rollercoaster blog)
https://adhdrollercoaster.org/myth-bu...

The Gaslighting Risk: Why Adults with ADHD Are Particularly Vulnerable to Manipulation
https://www.additudemag.com/gaslighti...

Full Chapter list:
00:00 Intro
00:10 Example of Gaslighting
00:51 Take home message
03:39 What is Gaslighting?
08:54 Modern Uses of the Term Gaslighting
10:05 Gaslighting and Psychology
12:03 Research on Gaslighting
15:48 Gaslighting and ADHD
16:15 Being Victims of Gaslighting
19:18 Being Perpetrators of Gaslighting
22:13 Being Accused of Gaslighting
26:44 How to Prevent Gaslighting
29:11 Conclusion
30:20 Questions
30:30 Autism Spectrum Disorder and Gaslighting
31:53 Is Memory Always Impaired with ADHD?
33:19 How to Find Out if Someone is a Gaslighter?
34:37 Dealing with Gaslighting when Having ADHD
37:15 Overlap between ADHD, BPD, and PTSD
39:57 Does ADHD make it more likely to be Gaslit?
42:29 Treatments for OCD Symptoms and Alcohol
44:42 Outro

Streamed live May 22, 2024

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General:

Psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author John Kruse, MD, PhD presents practical, actionable, well-researched information about treatment options that scientists and clinicians recommend for adult ADHD and other mental health conditions. Subscribe if you're curious about how neuro-atypical brains can optimize their functioning in our shared, and somewhat strange, world.

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