[TW: ED] what i "normally" eat | energy bar recipe | choc, pasta, and dumplings

ᵣₐw bₐᵣₛ 𝖗𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖕𝖊:
4 cups oats
40~43 medjool dates
1/2 cup sunflower seeds
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup chia seeds
1/2 cup coconut oil
inspired by aimeesong's recipe, modified by my master chef mum ♡

dEATs (if you want a detailed step to how to carry out this recipe, just search RAW BARS on youtube!):
preheat oven to 350F
pit and smash the medjool dates (don't bake these lol)
mix the rest of the ingredients together (melt the coconut oil)
bake these ↑ at 350F until the oats + seeds look golden brown, kinda like granola (yummm)
now SMUSH the oats into the medjool dates until you get a coherent blob - you might have to adjust the granola:dates ratio depending on how soft your dates are, but even if you do end up with a bit more oats than dates you can just press it all into a container and refrigerating it would help them set and stick to each other~
once they are hardened you can chop them into pieces of whatever size you desire (don't need to put them in the freezer unless you want to preserve them for a few months!)

macros unknown
calories unknown
yum factor : ∞
——
♢♢♢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʙɪɴɢɪɴɢ ♢♢♢

𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥:
I have had a large appetite since little, but was able to maintain a lean(ish) physique due to our eating habits at home. haven't been formally diagnosed but I struggle with disordered eating patterns and body dysmorphia on a daily if not hourly basis.
after I started university I had access to more foods than I could ever imagine, which, in conjunction with my larger appetite, led my body image to go into a downward spiral. was on the verge of bulimia but I couldn't bring myself to physically vomit food so i guess that's a blessing?

𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟:
bettering my relationship w/ exercise (which is no exercise atm, please don't ask me to workout because i'll see my body and hate myself)
not eating like, 120% full at every single meal
mindful eating
do less body checking
reducing the amount of sugar i binge on (for my poor skin lol)

i started documenting my binges at first, for myself. to leave a "document" of how much i could eat - because, if i don't document, then i will literally forget what my binges were about. however, it seems that these videos were helpful to some of you for controlling binges or to feel seen. so i will ignore the comments that make me feel sad!