[ed vlog] shopping at Wₐₗₘₐᵣₜ | fav cereal + pastries

just a random video dump (i-i guess the equivalent of a photo dump but in video???)
these voice-over videos are so much faster to make oh mann,, if only i could find time to record more often urgh but this isn't even my real voice my stupid brain gets all nervous and wacky on recording and i swear those of you who told me my voice sounds sweet you are frickin so so kind i literally swear everyday and my voice sounds very u̶n̶c̶u̶l̶t̶u̶r̶ed 𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔫𝔞𝔱...
lastly i'm wearing a winter coat bc i filmed this in winter finally got this done half a year later what a champ

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HEY! please don't watch these videos if you are easily triggered, these videos are made for myself and no one wants to promote eddie here so if you will, continue with a large grain of salt and a very, very open mind please and thank you~
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♢♢♢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʙɪɴɢɪɴɢ ♢♢♢

𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥:
I have had a large appetite since little, but was able to maintain a lean(ish) physique due to eating habits at home. haven't been formally diagnosed but I struggle with disordered eating + body dysmorphia on a daily if not hourly basis.
after I entered university I had access to more foods than I could ever imagine, which, in conjunction with my larger appetite, led my body image to go into a downward spiral.
I have struggled with binge eating and was on the verge of bulimia (I couldn't bring myself to physically vomit food). my relationships with food and my body is pretty messed up, but I am slowly recovering.

𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟:
- bettering my relationship w/ exercise (which is no exercise atm, please don't ask me to workout because i'll see my body and hate myself)
- not eating like, 120% full at every single meal
- mindful eating
- do less body checking
- reducing the amount of sugar i binge on (for my poor skin lol)

i started documenting my binges at first, for myself. to leave a "document" of how much i could eat - because, if i don't document, then i will literally forget what my binges were about. however, it seems that these videos were helpful to some of you for controlling binges or to feel seen. so i will ignore the comments that make me feel sad!